You Think Were Enemies?
by freakanatomy
Summary: people think they cant stand each other... what they dont realise they cant stand to be without each other... first fanfic.. give it a chance...femslash dont like dont read
1. Patiences is a Virtue

First time posting a fanfic... Hope you like.. Probably lots of mistakes sorry no beta so my fault.

Patience's Is A Virtue

Why did my day have to start like this? First my girlfriend didn't text me this morning, I don't mind its just I wanted to start my day of with a smile. Then my car broke down so I had to catch a lift with my arse of a brother Glen. So now I am running down the corridor of my school to reach my class. Just when my day couldn't get any better I see her.

As I see my classroom door realising it a few minutes before the bell. I was panicking for nothing. I slow down my pace when I see she's not alone but in fact with her friends.

"Shit" I mumble under my breath. I hate doing this .But she hasn't seen me yet. So that's a bonus.

Ashley. The school rebel, the outcast, the tattooed, hot outcast

Her brown hair was in a pony tail which gives the rest of the student population chance to look at that tattoo on the back of her neck... which I don't mind and shows of her highlights in her hair. God I love her hair. Anyway by the looks of it she is wearing her Halestorm band t-shirt, which she rocks by the way. Before my eyes wonder down to her tattoo on her lower back. She turns and looks at me. A flash of a smile appears on her face, but quickly goes when she realises what she is doing.

I know what coming.

So does she.

Game on

I walk up to the classroom door when I hear one of Ashley's friends say "yo Carlin I hear you rejected Tommy. And I know why. It because you wanna a real man .You wants me. I know you want me". How I hate her friends. Ashley was laughing and smiling at her friends because of the comment but I could tell it was fake. I stare and look at him with disgust "bite me four eyes" I reply looking straight in his face. I know it wrong to insult someone because they wear glasses but come on it early in the morning and I can't think of a comeback.

He leans in so he is whispering in my ear. I can feel his breathe... it makes me shiver with disgust but I don't back away. I don't flinch. I know if it gets out of hand she would stop it.

I think.

I hope.

" _No_ I want _you_ to bite _me_" I clench my fists to restrain myself from pushing him away " I want _you_ to _bite me_, _lick me_ and _suck me_" I push him back with so much force his back hit the lockers he is standing in front of . "I wouldn't touch you even if you where the last object on earth. And that includes sheep" I shouted in his face. I whipped around stared at Ashley I know what she wanted to do. But I also know, we both have a reputation to up hold so she wouldn't move a muscle. " And as for you Ashley" I spit her name out with so much false venom , I hated doing it but according to the rest school me and her weren't friends in fact we were enemies. "Aiden called" her face was getting red . Aiden always was a sore spot but I knew what I had to say and hopefully she knew I didn't mean it, so I carried on " he says thanks for the clap".

Ashley pushed the guys out the way and stood in front of me. I tried to look in to her eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes, the same eyes I could look into forever. But her lips were in the way. All I wanted to do was lean in and kiss her.

But I couldn't.

"Carlin you bitch! Go back to your cheerfuckers before your o so cheerful ass hits the o so cheerful floor because of my o so cheerful fist". She says with a smile. Which is fake.

I made myself look into her eyes. I knew the threat was empty but I still backed off and headed into my class room ,but before I fully entered the room I rose my hand and flipped her and the rest of her so called friends off.

I just sat down in my chair when my best friend appeared in the seat next to me and pasted a note.

"_Spencer are you alright... i saw what happened. Ashley's a bitch. I will never know why you were her friend... I wanted to come over but as the cheer captain i don't get involved in anything to do with Ashley Davis" _I flip the note over and write my own note.

_Madison I am alright ... I know how to handle the bitch of bitch town (Ashley) ... don't need back up... practice after school normal time?_

_But i really wanna punch her ... practice a 4.30 at gym … don't be late _

I smiled when I read the note. Like she could ever punch Ashley, Madison was all bark and no bite, unlike like Ashle who could defiantly bite. I was just about to reply back when my phone vibrated, I looked at the teacher to find he was already asleep. 5 minutes in to the lesson. That just lazy, I know there is no chance of getting caught so I whip out my phone and read the text. I already know who it off.

_Baby I didnt mean wat I said... I can't wait to kiss you... to touch you... same time same place?... love you A xxx :) _

I smiled

I wish I could see her now. Kiss her. Touch her just enough to make her beg for more...

But like a lot of things in life I have to wait.

They say patience's is a virtue and I think it's just a bitch.

**What do you think? Any good? Should I continue? Review VERY much welcome whether bad or good**


	2. In Plain Sight

In plain sight

I never did get to meet up with Ashley yesterday. Madison wouldn't leave my side; she was scared Ashley was going to follow through with her threat. So I had to make do with just 4 talking with Ashley by phone. i couldn't kiss her and touch her like I wanted to do. I could tell by her voice last night that all she wanted to do was come and climb up my window and make love to me but last time she did that she nearly caught by my mother. Have you nearly gotten caught having sex with your girlfriend my a strict catholic? Well i have and it's not nice.

I know that today will be hell. I haven't kissed her for the last three days. It's been torture. Me and Ashley I have English double period together and even though we don't seat together we both know there will be a lot of eye fucking going on.

I walked in to English and greet the teacher then take my seat. The class is coming in steady and I really don't want to seat next to anybody so put my bag on the seat next to me. I just place my books and the rest of my crap on the table when the bell goes. And Ashley still has not arrived.

Where is she?

Is she ill?

No she would have called me? Right?

Just when I am about to imagine the Ashley had been kid knapped by midget ninjas I hear.

"Miss Davis you're late again. This is becoming a habit"

"No Mr Holland a habit you enjoy, coming to this lesson is a chore" Ashley replied with a smirk on her face. I hold back a laugh. My god she is looking hot today. Her hair is down and her leather jacket fits her perfectly. SHE HAD A SKIRT ON. A Fucking short one. O my god i have died and gone to heaven.

A heaven where Ashley wears short skirts.

"Just go and take a seat, just one left. By the way detention tonight" Mr Holland said with a smile. Ashley who was smiling suddenly stopped smiling. She got a detention to night. The me and Ashley where going to go around to her house and " hang".

She started looking for the spare seat. And you guessed it. The only one spare was the one next to me. Does God have to be this cruel? The answer to that is yes he does.

She slams her bag on the decks and flops on the chair without so much of a glance toward me.

Well this lessons going to be fun.

NOT.

She is seating next to me, less than 10 inches away and I can't touch her. Can't kiss her. I can even talk nicely to her .Yerp God is cruel. "Were going to be watching Romeo and Juliet today class put you books away and watch the screen" the teacher shouted to the class. He almost sounded happy, probably because he was doing no actual teaching to this lesson.

As soon as the light went out and the film started to play I became hyperaware who was seating next to me. How close Ashley was to me. How if a move my hand just a tiny bit to the right i would be able to touch her soft skin.

The minutes seem to tick by so slowly. I look at my watch. Still another 1hour and 50 minutes till to go. I glanced at Ashley. She seemed to be in the same situation as me. Her fists were in clenched and her knuckles were becoming white due to the pressure she was putting them under. She was restraining herself so she wouldn't touch me. But that didn't work.

Because right now her hand is on my thigh.

My bare thigh.

I can feel her left hand slowly ascending my bare thigh.

She not going to do what I think she is.

Is she?

**_sorry is short longer one tomorrow_**

_**Hope you like thanks you all for the reviews... loving them all... they are making this new writer very very happy**__._


	3. Paybacks A Bitch

_Italics= thoughts _

Paybacks a Bitch

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Hand on thigh.

Hand on MY thigh alert!

_SHIT_

"Stop that" I whisper to her but she just shakes her head. She can be a bitch when she wants to be. I can be wet just thinking about Ashley's hand on my leg but now Ashley's hand actually on my leg right now so you can just imagine how wet I really am.

_Fuck!_ All I want is for her to take me and let her have her way with me in front of everyone. But of cause that would never happen. She will never kiss me in public, hold my hand or walk me to class. The most she will do is call me bitch then text me and say she's sorry. But I can't think of that now not when her fingers are inching closer and closer to where I want her the most. I go to grab her hand but she leans in and whispers making sure no one can see what she doing " if you think I can be this close to you and not touch you, you are so wrong, I haven't touched you in days"

She leans away and when her shit eating, nose crinkling, grin appeared I knew I was a gonna.

Her hand inches its way up my thigh. My knuckles ,which are on the side of my chair, are turning white because of the pressure I am putting them under. My breathe is jagged and I have to bite my lip so i wont beg her to put me out of my misery. I wanted to take her hand and guide it to the place I wanted it most.

But I wont

I never liked seating it the back but today I love it. It's too dark in the classroom so no one can see what Ashley is doing to me.

_Fuck me. _

Her finger just brushed my clit. When she felt my pants were this wet, her grin went wider. She wasn't even looking at me but I could tell she wanted me. I could also tell that she was turned on. Her legs were crossed and she keeps on bouncing her knee to create more friction for herself.

_Aww Poor Ashley shall I get rid of that problem for ya and fuck you in class... o wait I can't that's what you're doing to me! _

I pressed my legs together to make her stop but that just made more friction against my clit.

_Fuck._ I thought.

I barely suppressed a moan and had to bite my lip more because this friction is just torture.

_Fuck this._

I know what she wants to happen and who am I to deny what she wants? But I will get her back... maybe...one day.

I open my legs wider. Her finger starts to press down on my clit through my pants.

"Stop teasing me" I whimper. And I think she got the message because now she is moving the offending clothing article while the other is pressing on my clit...

_O god. O god. O god. Ashley please._

She's moving her finger on my clit in a slow movement and_ fuck she's good. _All I want her to do is go inside me fuck me hard and fast. But she can't because I can't move in my chair. My hips starts moving ,by its own accord, forward and backwards in the chair slowly to create more friction. But it doesn't work.

I bite my lip harder. This is agony at its best. Her two fingers work quicker on my clit _she is a master_. I bow to the master because _fuck_ right now i am in heaven. As my orgasm runs though me, making my legs slam together and makes my legs shake uncontrollably, I grab her arm,more to stop me from leaning in to kiss her then to tell her to stop.

I can hardly breathe. My heart is beating so fast and I swear it's going to beat out my cheat any minute.

She removes her hand and slowly places them against her lips. _Fuck she's sexy._

How didn't anyone see that? I look around the classroom. No one saw it. No one saw Ashley fucking me in a class room. Damn I'm lucky. How could no one see the rebel of the school giving one of the cheerleaders an orgasm ... a mind altering good orgasm... in a classroom... full of people!. Are they blind?

No there not blind...

Just a sleep.

Damn that movie must me shit.

"Right class I want a movie review on that movie on Friday. Enjoy the rest of the day" Mr. Holland shouts waking up the class. Shit I forgot about the movie. I was too distracted by my super hot girlfriend. I turn to see Ashley but she had already gone out the class.

"Bye "I whimper to no one.

"I can't believe you had to sit next to Ashley... you didn't get infected by anything did you?" Madison says as she walks to my table. I can't get up at the moment. Legs still jelly. "Yerp... awful... no I didn't get infected" I reply whilst not making a move to get up out of my chair.

"Lunch next... are you coming"

"All ready did"... _Shit_ I shake my head... "I mean I am"Fuck that was close. Madison didn't even notice my slip up she's was too busy checking her face book status no doubt.

I feel my phone vibrate... I wonder who it could be?

"_your so hot wen u cum... tonite my house...7.30 love you ash : )xxx_

I smile and don't reply. I said patience's is a bitch. I was wrong

Paybacks a bitch

I can be a bitch when I wanna be.

Ashley you better get ready.

**Thanks for all your reviews I love reading them... again sorry about grammar and keep reviews coming  
**


	4. I Dont Hate you

**I Don't Hate You I Just Have Pent Up Anger Deal With It**

I walked around school the rest of the day with a smile plastered across my face. People kept on asking me why I couldn't stop smiling. Some thought I was on drugs and the others thought I was weird. Didn't they realise I had the greatest girlfriend in the entire world with the most talented hands i have ever experienced?

7.30pm

I entire Ashley's house, I don't knock. There's no point. Her mum is in Spain looking for another husband no doubt; her dad is still in tour with his band and won't be back for another couple of months.I don't shout for Ashley I know where she will be. I make my way up the stairs expertly avoiding the creaks of the stairs and make my way up to her bedroom. I can hear music blaring from her iPod speakers.

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
(Dirty little secret)  
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret  
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)  
My dirty little secret_

How appropriate. We are both each other's little secret. i want to change that. I don't think Ashley will though but that doesn't matter. Not now. I slowly open the door. I take a peek inside hoping Ash is looking away from the door she is. She is looking in her closet for something. Ha irony. I open the door wider and walk in.

I tiptoe to Ashley. Circle my arms around Ashley's stomach and started kissing her up her neck and back down again. She yelped a bit in surprise but then relaxes when she realises its only me.

"I thought I heard you "she mumbled

She quickly turns around and kisses me quickly on the lips. Her togue glances across my lips and i part them up to grant her access, are tongues intertwine as we fight for dominance. Her kisses still remind me about the first time we kissed each other.

_Flashback_

"_Bitch"_

"_Slut" _

"_Dyke"_

"_Straight person"_

_And with that I slapped her across her face. Not because it was a bad insult, to be fair it was pretty lame insult, I hit her because couldn't she realise how wrong that insult really was directed at me? _

_Ashley touched her cheek her face went red, anger filled her. She was she about to hit me back when. _

"_That's enough Miss Davis and Miss Carlin! Both go to detention room!" A random teacher shouted. Me and Ashley didn't move, not one inch, we were hell meant on hitting on another. It was just one of our fights. The school had come to expect me and ash would have fights every day but this was different and they could tell it was different. I never hit her before._

"_I am not waiting all day" the teacher said and we both, slowly, walked off to the detention room._

_When we entered the room, the blinds where drawn so it was dark and only got lit up by the artificial lights. Ashley shut the door behind her and leaned against it. I let my eyes roam her body. She had her eyes closed when she surprised me by saying_

"_What happened to us....i miss my friend ... if want my friend back."_

"_I tell you what happened" I said raising my voice "you happened "she opened up her eyes but before she could reply I carried on my rant. I wanted her to know exactly how I feel." You happen" I looked straight into her eye "you stole Aidan... you know by boyfriend. Then you turn gay. Not only did you steal my boyfriend you then dumped him two weeks later" Ashley's eyes darted to the floor "i hate you, I hated it that you are not my friend. I hate you...."I stopped myself._

_Ashley's eyes darted back up to me and stepped off the door so we were now face to face. "Tell me! Tell me what you think of me please.... don't you think I hate myself for hurting you... you where my best friend" tears started to well up in her eyes. "I want my best friend back but if you hate me ... but it's okay if you hate me... it's ok... at least I know you still care." _

_The silence in the room was unbearable. I stepped back from Ashley and turned my back to her._

_**Fuck this**__ I thought_

_I whipped around and shouted at her "I hate you i hate that you're gone from my life." I could see the surprise right across her face but I carried on. I started so I might as well finish. " I hate you turn me on ... I hate the way I need you even when I don't know where you are" and with that I kissed her with so much force her back slammed at the door._

_Ashley didn't response at first she was still in shock. The kiss was chaste at first but when when my tongue started to probe her lips she knew what I was feeling was real because all of a sudden her hands where gripping the back of my head and roaming my wasnt far behind._

_Only when we were struggling to breathe did we part. Are foreheads pressed together?_

"_What does this mean" she whispers_

"_It means I wanted you since the first time I saw you... I don't care how we do this but I want to be with you"_

_End of flashback_

"Ashley" I breathe out during the kiss

"You were so hot today baby" she mumbled

With that I pulled back from this kiss. I wasn't here to kiss Ashley I was her to dish out pay back. I Stepped out of Ashley's grip

"You're a bitch you know that?" I said with a smile so she knew was joking.

"i don't remember you pushing my hand away" she grinned and stepped forward to kiss me again.

But I backed away and started to lie back on to her bed.

"I know ... Sorry I shouldn't of called you a bitch ... forgive" I did my head tilt and pouted. she was a gonna

"of course I do." She came and straddle me. She leaned to kiss me, when I pulled back from the kiss. She looked surprised.

"I want you to come to dinner at my house tomorrow" her face fell. Dinner with the Carlin's can be a great experience, but only if you're catholic and straight, Ashley is neither. "Cant sorry" she started to lean in again but I pushed her away. "My parents want to see you and I want you to come" she leaned in again and started kissing my neck._ Fuck_ that tongue. I felt her head nod. I place my hands on each side of her head and guided it up so we are eye to eye "I will come... but only because I love you" I smiled and extracted myself from Ashley and stood up.

"Spencer I thought we were going to spend the night together... I haven't kissed you in a fuck long time"

"We were" I said with a smile.

You know the best way to get Ashley Davis back

Withhold sex

works every time

" I also remember what you did to me today.. And you know what they say paybacks a bitch"

And with that I walked out of her room down the stairs and out to the car leaving Ashley looking shocked.

I opened up my phone and began to text her

_Shame about wat u did today coz i was gonna make you cum so hard the u couldn't walk... i wanted you to scream out my name until u couldn't talk... o well... c ya tomoz.. love s xxx ;)_

I press send

You might not think going to dinner at my family's house isn't that bad... You obviously haven't met my mum. Plus with the hold on sex and the teasing I am going to put Ashley though that dinner,Ashley will be begging me.

Tomorrow is going to be so much fun.

**Thanks for all the great reviews ... please keep them coming.**


	5. How it All Started

**Sorry for not updating sooner A Level exams were kicking my ass... so I decided to kick it back**

**Any way hope u like this chapter**

**Flashback in italics**

**How it All Started**

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**

Me and Ashley are on my bed waiting for my mum to call us down. Her arms wrapped protectively around me with her thumb gently stoking the gap between my top and my jeans.

These are the times when, it s just me and Ashley, that send my mind racing back to beginning of our relationship. It didn't start with that kiss.

No it started two weeks later.

_Flashback _

_It had been two weeks since that day in detention. I told Ashley that I wanted us to be together, but after we left the safety of the detention room. That idea was shot down straight away. We were ... well I was avoiding Ashley like the plague. When I saw her walking down the corridor I either avoided her by walking in the other direction or jumping in to the nearest classroom ,and once even the boys toilets._

_Every time she caught my eyes I could never read her expression. It was like a combination of anger, lust and utter disbelief. _

_To be fair to Ashley after my little confession I was being a bitch .I was the one who was not talking or going anywhere near her._

_I was on my way to math class when I walked into someone. Their books went flying i bent down to get theee books and say sorry when I hear_

"_Spencer ... Please can ... can we talk"_

_Yerp that right_

_You guess it_

_I bumped straight into Ashley._

_The only person i was trying to avoid_

_My heart was pounding against my chest. I looked at her. My god she's beautiful. Even if her eyes looked like she hadn't slept in weeks._

_I dropped her books and started running of in the other direction... I couldn't face her when she knew I loved her. It was like my honesty was trying to hurt me. _

"_Come on Spencer... Spencer stop" I hear Ashley running after me. People in the hallway where looking at us thinking WTF. Me and Ash never spoke politely to one another. But Ashley sounded like she was begging me to stop so that made them even more confused._

_I didn't stop when she called after me, instead I headed to the bathroom. I made sure no one was in there when Ashley rushed through the doors._

_I stood against the sink looking at myself in the mirror. My hands gripping the sink the strain becoming quickly evident on my knuckles.. I could see Ashley's reflection in the mirror. I couldn't turn around. I knew if I turned around I would kiss her. And i couldn't kiss her. Because..._

_Because...._

_Because I didn't know why I couldn't... I just couldn't_

_Ashley looked straight into my eyes through the reflection in the mirror. Even though she wasn't staring straight at me, it still felt like she could see in to my soul. I couldn't take it any more so I closed them._

"_Spencer... You kissed.... me ... you kissed me" I could hear the desperation in her voice. I couldn't stand it so I opened my eyes. _

_I wished I didn't because I could see how scared she was but also the lust and dare I say love in her eyes shining back at me._

"_I" I took at deep breathe trying to steady myself "I did and for that I am sorry. It won't happen again" I could feel the tears creeping up on me. I told myself that I wouldn't cry._

_So i won't._

""_you kissed me and... and ... it was perfect." I closed my eyes the tears were becoming overwhelming. She was saying everything I every wanted her to hear. So why was I crying._

_The tears where both happy and sad. _

_Happy because I had the smallest glimmer of hope that for maybe... just this once... The universe was on my side and that I could get everything I every dreamed of since I meant Ashley._

_Sad because if I wanted to have a happy home life, free of lies i would have to hide from my mother who i really was. I don't think I could handle that._

_The only thing I could think of was to try and push Ashley away. For the sake of me, and the happiness of my family._

"_Ashley please understans... It was just a kiss it meant nothing. Don't want to be with you... so please just go." I managed to say holding back sobs. I closed my eyes again. I didn't want to see Ashley walk away._

"_Spencer... when you kissed me...It was perfect... It was like a piece of me that I never knew was missing till now was finally found" I didn't say anything, didn't open my eyes. I didn't move._

"_Spencer ... looks at me "and when I didn't "why are u afraid"._

"_Ashley" I whimpered "I am scared that if I open my eyes my feelings will be true and that would mean I am everything my own mother hates. I am scared that if I open my eyes all I would do would be to kiss you." i felt a tear slip down my face silently._

"_Spencer" she whispered. She walk toward m slowly and turned me around gently as if any wrong movements I would break. She tilted my head up and stroked away the tear that had slipped though my barrier. I still hadn't opened my eyes._

_She pulled my into a tight hug. I could feel the warmth of her skin against mine. I inhaled the scent of her shampoo. Parma Violet that's what she smelt like. I gripped hold of her like she was the only one who could ever get me and I let my tears fall._ _I don't know how long we stood there for but all the while Ashley was stroking my hair whispering comforting nothing in to my ear. She pulled back to look at my face. I still hadn't opened my eyes._

"_Spencer open your eyes" i slowly opened them. She smiled._ "_Thanks for that" I said and turned and again leaded against the sink and looked at my tear stained face in the mirror. My eyes flicked to Ashley face. Disappointment was all I could read._

"_Ashley" I said into the mirror looked at Ashley though the mirror. She looked up and i..._

_I gave in_

_Before I knew what I was doing i turned around, grabbed Ashley, pushed against the sink and kissed her._

_It was nothing like are first kiss. This one was hard, rough but filled with just the same infatuation. My tongue was granted access into her mouth and when my tongue met hers the moan she was repressing forced its way up to the tip of her tongue. The vibration that went into my month made me hold Ashley's hip more .I pulled back because I needed air. But not long after that. Ashley grabbed the back of my head and crashed our mouths together. _

_Her hands where deep in my hair, whilst my hand where stroking her sides. I grabbed both her legs and lifted her up so she was sitting on the sink, her legs wrapped around me. We slowly and with a struggle parted. We stared straight into each other's eyes. I knew then that all my excuses for not being with Ashley where now null and void because I was in love with Ashley and she loved me._

_My hands slowly worked it was around to the front of Ashley's top. Slowly it ascended to Ashley to bra. I stroked her bra. Makin sure my finger found her nipple through the material .Her eyes flutter closed and I could feel her breathing increase and her heart beat rapidly amplify._ _She ducked her head in between my collar bone and neck and started to kiss me there and suck. Now it was my turn to moan out loud. I gently squeezed Ashley right breast and she bite my neck._

"_Fuck Ashley" I managed to breathe out._ _Her hands where all over me, I pulled my hand out her top and I hear whimpering complaints coming from Ashley as I did so. I pulled back. Ashley looked at my confused ... almost hurt._

"_Spencer what wrong"_

"_Nothing ... it just your in too many clothes"_

"_But someone could come in "_

_ she had a point_ _I extracted myself from Ashley's warm body. I walked to the door to the toilets and locked it. I walked back with a smile on my face._

"_no one will come in now". Her legs found their way around my waist again and pulled me closer as I took off her top and kissed her . As are tongues where dancing my hands headed to the back of her bra, I unclasped it. I slowly guided my hands up to her straps and pulled it over her shoulder and the offending item fell to the floor._ _I ducked my head from Ashley and kissed her jaw line. Ashley hands were still in my hair as I made my way down her neck. I touched, kissed; licked and sucked every bit of it. My hands had a life of its own ._

_ As one was stroking the back of Ashley the other one was gently cresting her breast. I moved to the other breast as I descended lower, to her chest. I looked up at Ashley to see if she wanted to stop. She nodded and I took that as conformation to continue._

"_Fuck... Spencer" I hear as I bit her nipple. Her back arched and her legs pulled me even more closer if that was possible. She pressed my head to her chest. Her belt buckle was now digging into my centre and I groaned into her breast. Whist I was sucking on nipple my other hand stroked her other one. I was just about to swap nipples when._

"_Open up ... come on I need the bathroom!"_

_I pulled away from Ashley. Her eyes black with lust. I leaned into her ear _

"_we will continue this soon I promise" my voice husky because I was so turned on._ _With that I pulled away from Ashley looked in the mirror and redid my makeup and Ashley put her bra and top back on and did up her makeup._

" _listen " she said " where going to have to act like we don't like each other because I don't want people to know so I am sorry for what I am about to do."_ _I nodded. I understood where she was coming from. I wasn't ready for anyone to know about us i still didn't even know if there was an us._

"_You're a bitch you know that Carlin " she shouted loud enough for the person behind the door to hear._

"_Take one to know one" I shouted at her. I quickly kissed her then stomped out of the room rushing pashed the person who had nearly caught me and Ashley._

_End of flashback_

"Stop that" I turn my head. Ashley head is still on my shoulder and her eyes still closed

"Stop what... I was just thinking" I say at the same time as my finger traces her jaw line.

"Thinking naughty thoughts" she said with a smile" stop thinking dirty thoughts they are making me think dirty thought and I can't. Not when in less than a few minutes I am suppose to sit with your family." I lead in and kissed her. It lasted minutes. Three minutes to be exact... And all three of them where spent in heaven. I pulled back. Making us both moan.

"Come on" I get up from my bed and stretch out a hand to her.

She takes it.

Time for dinner. With the parents.

Carlin Style.

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Hope you enjoyed it.... hopeful will update soon... Agiain sorry for the grammer and spelling mistakes ... thanks for all the favourites and story alerts... please keep the review coming they make me smile... a lot.... so please more reviews :)


	6. I Will Hold You Till My Arms Fall Off

**None of the SON characters are owned by me there are owned by The N and ****Thomas W. Lynch**

I'll hold you till my arms fall off

I held Ashley's hand till we reached the bottom of the stair case but as soon as did I missed the warmth of her skin. How every time she holds my hand her thumb makes circles on my hand. I only let go because I don't think my mum knew about me Ashley.

I say think because on more the one occasion she has nearly found me and Ashley in compromising... well very compromising positions. The first one was when Ashley first came to my house.

_Flash back _

"_Spencer you mum could come in any minute"_

" _Ashley I haven't seen in a 24 hours all I want to do is kiss you so shut up and kiss me" and she did. Are tongue danced, are hands touched and are body's rocked._

"_Spencer open this door" mum shouted_

"_Spencer" Ashley whisper to me"just open the door say your coming to my house. You can kiss me there "_

_I nodded and open my door._

_End of flash back_

My dad once caught me and Ashley making out outside school once when he picked me up . He didn't say anything but I told him about me and Ashley. He just replied "I love you ... but you're the one who will tell you mother". And my mum, she thinks I walk on air and that I am a good Christian. Which I am, I just chose to ignore the part in my religion where it says gays are bad. She would never think her dear daughter is gay.

I walked in front of Ashley and put on my best "show of my arse" walk. I'm thinking it's worked because I swear I hear her mutter something.

"Dinner ready" I hear my dad shout from the kitchen.

Me and Ashley takes are places in the table. Ashley sitting next to me of course, Glen and Clay sitting opposite us ,and my mum and dad sitting at the heads of the table.

We said grace and started to tuck into are dinner.

"Mr C this is awesome... Your cooking just keeps on getting better" Ashley always sucks up my dad. I think it's because she knows he knows about us and she wants to be on his good side.

"thank you Ashley" he said spoke between bites." How has school been?"

"Yes Ashley ... The last time you was here you where failing maths... has anything changed" yerp that was my mum. I feel more then saw the change Ashley. She became more tensed. I placed my hand discreetly on her thigh. She seems to relax quickly. I scanned the room to see if anyone saw what I did. My dad just gave me a wink and carried eating like nothing had happened.

Have I ever told you my dad is Awesome?

Well he is

"Not failing Mrs Carlin" she putts across a smile to my mother but it wasn't a real one. She hated my mother. But to be fair to Ashley my mother hates her.

"And how's your father... still in that band of his" again she tensed. My fingers started stroking her thigh. I didn't mean to turn her on but just to calm her but I think it might have had the opposite effect.

" errm.. Yes" she breathed out "he is coming home in a month then he is on tour again" her smile faulted a bit but she kept up the pretence.

"Well I don't think it right"

"Mom" I whipped my head around to my mum removing my hand from the warmth of Ashley thigh. She had no right to have a go at Ashley dad.

"No. A Father should be at home with his children."

Ashley was beyond mad now. She loved her dad. Sure it hurt that he wasn't there for him but she knew he loved her and that all that mattered.

"Mrs Carlin" she address my mother calmly but she wasn't calm. Far from it in fact "My dad is following his dreams. He is doing something what many people are too stubborn or too stupid to do. I love my dad for doing that. So he is never home. I don't mine because I know that he loves me and it makes the moments we do spend together more memorable. I am proud of my dad. I am proud he makes millions upon millions of people happy though his music. I am proud and so should you be." Ashley started to eat again like it was the most normal for her to lecture my mum.

Let me tell you it wasn't.

The whole table was in silence. My mum's jaw was hanging and looked like someone had just killed her buzz. Glen and smiling at Ashley. My dad he was trying to hide a smile but I could tell he was proud at Ashley for standing up to my mum. And me well I dropped my hand from the table and reached for her hand and intertwined them. She smiled at me and carried on eating.

After a couple of tense minutes the need for someone to say something was become over welcoming. Maybe I could tell my parent about me and Ash. I mean my dad's here so he would defend me and Ashley against the wrath of my mother. And Glen and Clay well they probably would say cool and go up stairs.

I closed my eyes steady myself for what I as bout to say.

"Mum ..."

"_Here we go for the hundredth time, hand grenade pins in every line"_

"Sorry that mine phone" Ashley face redden at the fact she forgot to turn off her phone and for royally pissing of my mum.

" I thought I told you to turn your phone of " my mum nearly shouted across the table.

" I thought I did... it's my mum... err I better take this... err excuse me" she looked confused as I did he mum never rang her. I ask her if she wanted me to come with her. She moved her head to say no. And walked out the room slowly.

"Mum what do you want?" I want back to my dinner but at the corner of my Ashley caught my attention. She suddenly stopped walking. Her back hit the wall. Her face pale white as snow. I knew straight away something was wrong.

"NOO!" Ashley screamed. I quickly got up from the table and ran to Ashley. She dropped her phone on the floor with a bang.

"Ash what's wrong?"She stared at me like I wasn't even there. "Ashley ... Ashley what wrong" her eyes finally focused on me. I could see the heart break in her eyes.

"My dad" was all she got out before she collapsed on to the floor. Tears uncontrollably running for her eyes, she was visibly shaking. I went down next to her and gathered her up in my arms. Her head against my neck, warm tears hitting my t-shirt covered shoulder.

I moved my head so I could see my family. Each one of the looking at the broken girl that clings to my body like a life raft, after what seemed like a life time she moved. Her eyes red raw from the amount of crying she had just being doing in.

"Spence ... my dads' dead." She whispered and she started crying again and without hesitation I pulled her in my arms again. "Come Ashley lets go up stairs" she shakily got up. She looked like she wasn't there. Like she wasn't in control of her body, like she was a zombie.

"Mum Ashley's staying the night" I stated leaving no room for arguing .So my mum just nodded. Normally she never let Ash stay in my bedroom when she knew she was staying at the house but she saw the broken girl in my arms and all she could do was nod.

I took Ashley's hand and guided her up in to my room. I placed her on the edge of my bed .I think she's in shock.

"Baby... Please... Baby what happened" I said as a knelt in front of her. I held her hands. She closed her eyes as if she could stop reality from actually being real.

"He was in a car accident... he was coming home for a surprise visit"

Before I could move her lips where on mine. The movement of her lips where desperate against my lips I guess she needed to feel.

Something.

Anything.

She grips my head and she tried to deepen the kiss. I could feel her warm tears splash my face i gently pulled back.

"Ashley"

"Spencer please" she managed to get out in-between sobs. "Baby I need to feel something apart from this." She point at her heart. I knew what she was feeling "Please... Please Spence I am begging you let me do this" she leaned in for another kiss. And who was I to stop her. She needs to feel something other than the loss of her father.

Ashley pulled apart and collapsed again with crying. I gather her up and lied her down on my bed. I curled up next to her and but my arm around her. I don't know what I am supposed to do. She's crying so hard and all I could do was holding her. I mean there has to be a magic word I and say to help her. But there isn't so I will just hold her. Hold her till her tears stop flowing. And she can sleep.

**Please review: ) pretty please: )**


	7. I Will Follow You Into The Dark

**None of the SON characters are owned by me there are owned by The N and Thomas W. Lynch**

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I'll follow you into the Dark

The sun's blinding it way though my bedroom .Did last night really happen? Did I spend all night curled up next to Ashley trying to calm her down? I open one eye to see if Ashley's asleep.

"Ashley" I say my voice is still full of sleep. I sit up when I find see is not there.

"Ashley" I say louder. I quickly get up out bed and rush to my bathroom, not there. I rush down there stair to see if she having some breakfast with my family.

She's not.

"Dad have you seen Ashley, she wasn't there when I woke up."

"yes honey, she went to get some clothes from home and said she would see you tonight"

"o.. okay... erm dad what do I do?"

He turned to face me, his face full of compassion. "Honey just be there for her. This will be a trying time for her. All you can do is be there for her" he walked up to me kissed me on the forehead and left for work. I decided then and there I was going to be there for her, I was going to do anything in my power to stop the hurt she was experiencing. All I want to do today is be by her side and tell her everything going to be fine and it will hurt for a while but she will get better.

I finished the rest of my breakfast had a quick shower and went to school. My head full of thoughts of Ashley.

The news of her dad's death hadn't made the news yet which is a bonus so the school wouldn't be talking about it. I walked into maths ready to start my day when Ashley walked into class. _What she doing here_? I was about to walk up to her when Madison came and sat next to me in need some attention.

"so I went to the beach last night and I saw the hottest guy...." her voice faded into the back ground when I stared at Ashley. Her hair was done up in a lose pony tale. She wore her dad's leather jacket which he gave her for her birthday last year. And black skinnies. I caught her eyes and mouthed if she was okay. Of course she wasn't going to be ok but I didn't know what to ask her. She nodded but I could tell she was hardly keeping it together. She sat at an empty desk. And just sat there. She did not take out any books or pen. She just carried on listening to her IPod, no doubt listening to some of her dad's songs.

"Spencer ... Spencer are you listening to me"

"Of course Madison, but the teachers here now so you better get to your seat." She did what she was told.

"Miss Davies" the teacher said. Ashley didn't move

"Miss Davies takes your eyes phones out" he said more sternly. Ashley just stared at him. Shit _this wasn't going to be good_ I thought. He walked up to her and pulled the ear phones out of her ear." You can have these back at the end of the week Davies". He walked away. Ashley just stared at him and I stared at her. For the first time in my life I was scared of what Ashley might do. Her face was blank and her eyes were baring holes in the teachers back. She slowly stood up. I was about to stop her but her dead tone of voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Give it back" the teacher turned around and I swear he flinched. I have never seen Ashley this mad.

"No Miss Davies you can have it back at the end of the week, like I said."

"Do you think I care what you said?"She shouted. Half the class were in shock but me I was trying to not to stand up and hold Ashley.

"i don't care what you do , think or feel! If you don't give me it back now I swear on my dad's grave I will walk up to you grab my iPod and smash it over your head!" She walked up to him stopping short of him by centimetres "so sir, give me my IPod" she grinned at him.

The teacher was stunned. He just gave her, her IPod back. "Miss Davies I think you should calm down"

Does nobody know never to tell Ashley to calm down it only gets her uncalm? Is that a word?

"Calm down!" she began walking up and down the space between the desks "calm down, who the fuck do you think you are, your nothing, you have no idea my .... Your nothing" I could tell Ashley was on the verge of tears and by the looks of it so could the teacher. "Ashley what wrong" the teacher said in a considerate tone.

"You're what wrong sir ! You think you can just come here and take away the one thing that reminds me of him" of course the class and the teacher looked confused. I didn't. I was right. Ashley was listening to her dad's songs and that was the only thing she had left of him.

"What you on about, I just took your IPod" the teacher said

"you worthless piece of shit.."

"ASHLEY" when did I stand up? When did I shout Ashley name?

She spun her head round to look at me, she looked so broken and it broke my heart. I walk up to her. The class now was even more confused but I didn't care. She looked at me so broken "Ashley..." I put my hand on her forearm and she visibly relaxed. I could hear whispers coming from all around me but all I could see was her. "Ashley go outside, wait for my there" I said in a low voice. She thought about it for a second and i swear she was going to shout at me but she turned around looked at the class and left. She slammed the door making it shake with force.

I turn around and the whole class was staring at me and I have a funny feeling mine and Ashley relationship might of been discovered. I grabbed my stuff and walked to the teacher" i gotta go" and walked out the classroom.

I found Ashley leaning against the lockers. Eyes closed with tears running down her face. I dropped my bags and ran up to her and engulfed her in a tight hug. "he's gone" she whispered in to my neck "he's really gone" she collapse on the fall again and for a second time just like before I was there to hold her tight and whisper soft comforting nothings into her ear. I stroked her hair to try and soothe her but her body still rocked with the amount of tears she was shredding.

We didn't realise the bell had rung until people where coming out of classes and looking at us.

"Spencer what do you think you doing" Madison had perfect timing as always. Me and Ashley crashed back in to reality.

Me and Ashley being kind to each other in front of people.

Crap.

O well, I don't care anymore, my baby needs me.

"Back off Madison" I said though gritted teeth whilst still holding Ashley as she wept. "No Spencer what the fuck are you doing anywhere near that dyke" the word must of gotten though Ashley mind fog because she suddenly become rigid. I pulled back and looked at Ashley not caring that there was now a crowd around us , i place both my hands against her cheeks.

" heyy.. . Let's go home" she nodded and we both started to get up from the floor. I intertwined mine and Ashley hands we stared at each other. I smiled and she nodded. "Ashley get your filthy hands off Spencer" I gripped Ashley hand tight so she didn't have the option to let go.

"Madison back off "again though gritted teeth. She was really started to piss me of .she stood in front of both of us "Spencer again I say what the fuck! Ashley why don't you go to your druggy dad and go and overdose or something" Ashley grip my hand and tears slowly appeared down her face and started to move past me , I blocked her way and looked at her " don't worry I got this" I whisper it wasn't Ashley time to snap it was mine. "You don't care do you Madison! You don't care she is upset"

"Not really" Madison was almost giddy she made Ashley cry

"Her Father just died you moron!" With that her face fell I barged past Madison, the crowd and anyone else in mine and Ashley way and not once did i let go her hand.

We finally got to her car. I fished out her keys out of her pocket. I open the passenger side door so she could get in. I hate see her like this. She just stares though the windscreen into nothing. She stopped crying but her face is pale, her red eyes jump out at me. I run to the driver's side and head home.

Once I get Ashley into my room we both lie down onto my bed. Ashley turns to her side as to not look at me. I cuddle her from her back and place my arms across her stomach and place my head against her head. She grabs hold of my hand. I stroke her hand with my thumb as again she cries herself into another restless sleep.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I don't know if Ashley will stay the night. I don't know how my friends or her friends will react to the news about me and Ashley. But I can't think about that know. Not when my heart broken girlfriend is next to me.

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Hope you like... please review I love reading them : )


	8. Broken Hearts and Torn up letters

Sorry i took so long to update... collage is so busy... but I am now on study leave so I can update more.

Usual disclaimers I don't own anything apart from the story line

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Broken Hearts and Torn Up Letters

_Last Time_

_I don't know what tomorrow will bring. I don't know if Ashley will stay the night. I don't know how my friends or her friends will react to the news about me and Ashley. But I can't think about that know. Not when my heart broken girlfriend is next to me._

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I woke up feeling a warm body curled up next to mine. I love that feeling. I didn't want to move but I am started to get cramp on my arm for not moving all night. I turned my head to see what time it was.

5.00am.

Me and Ashley slept all night though into the next morning. Thank god yesterday was Friday so today we can just stay all day in bed, my favourite hobby.

I gently extracted myself when I feel Ashley begin waking up.

"Hey baby go back to sleep" I whisper in her ear and kiss her forehead. After a couple of seconds she was back to sleep. I stayed to looking at her. The skin around her eyes was red and even though her face was completely relaxed I could tell she was miserable, make up stands covered her cheeks because of that much crying she did.

I finally get out of bed and made my way down stairs.

"Spencer what are you doing up this early. And why did I get a call from the Principle to tell me you skipped afternoon lessons yesterday" mum perfect timing. I just woke up and she wants to interrogate me.

Typical

"Let me get some coffee and I will answer both of the questions."

I made myself some coffee and went outside to where my mum was now sitting.

"Well... I am wanting" well this is going to be fun.

"To answer you first question, I am up this early because I have been asleep since I brought Ash home yesterday and i have just woken up. To answer you second question" I drank some of the coffee to try and wake myself up "Ashley had a kinda mini breakdown at school... And you know since her dad just _died_ I thought she won't want to be alone"

My mum still had her sternly face on but I could tell that because I didn't skip school for a trivial reason that she won't punish me... much.

"Ok Spencer... Sorry for having ago" my mother has many flaws but she always says sorry when she is wrong. "It's okay mum." I kissed on the kissed and walked back in to the house.

"You really care for her don't you?" I turned around but my mum wasn't looking at me, I barely heard it but my mum defiantly said it . What do I say? Do I lie and tell her she just a friend or do I say I love her, that she is the best thing in my life.

"Yes... I really do care for care "i closed the door "I love her." I whisper to no one, and headed back backup stairs.

I climbed back into bed silently and started stroking Ashley hair. I loved doing this. When I did it the first time she said it was like it a still calmness washes over her. All I want is for Ashley to somehow get back to her usual self so we can be together. And I know that selfish, and I know she won't be herself for a couple of weeks, months even and I will be beside but I can't help but wonder if we will get through it.

By now the press would have heard about her dad and I can't even imagine what will happen at school. But I know I will be there beside her.

"Some thinking... you'll get wrinkles" Ashley says eyes still closed

"I thought you where asleep" I whispered still stroking her hair

"I woke up as soon as you left the room" she turned and snuggled in to me her neck in the curve of my neck.

I stopped stroking and just looked at my baby. " don't stop" she said this time opening her eyes. Her eyes red almost glowing, you could plain as days see the loss in her eyes "it's soothing"

"Ashley ..." I whispered and carried on.

"Spencer I need to tell you something" she sat up and wouldn't look at me .she's nervous, she never looks at me when she's nervous. I tilt her head up slowly by her chin so she at eye level with me "Ash tell me"

"I'm going away... Yesterday my mum said i need to get away from all the media attention that will be surrounding the house." I could see fresh tears building up but I couldn't move. Ashley was leaving me. It was for herown good but I still felt that I should be there for her.

" I don't want to go believe me I don't want to go ...." I silenced her with a kiss. My lips gently moving across hers, I put my hands on her cheeks so she won't move. I only moved back when the need for air become an issue, I place my forehead against hers.

"Ashley ... If your mum thinks it's for the best then go... just don't forget me"

"Spencer I could never... I'll me back for in a month"

_A month! I though she meant a week two at most ... shut up brain she's grieving stop thinking about your own feelings and remember your girlfriend needs time to heal._

I leaned in and kissed her again. If this was going to be the last chance I got to see her in a month I want it to be something I will remember. Our lips glided across each other's, when her tongue begged for entrance who was I to stop her. Her hand is in my hair and mine are placed on her cheeks. She guides me to lie back on the bed. I did and let her fall on top of me and our mouths never parted.

Not Once

Ashley pulled away to my surprise. "Spencer... I could never forget you... I love ... Remember that" I reached up and hugged her. So tightly I didn't want to let her go. We fell asleep like that.

I woke up and she wasn't there but in her place was a piece of paper.

_Dear Spencer_

_You beautiful when you sleep I just couldn't wake you, plus I hate goodbyes. I will be back in one mouth. I will think about you every day but i need to get away._

_I'll text you _

_Yours forever_

_Ashxxx_

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_Once month later_

Ashley's coming home today and I can't wait till I see her. I will see her at school but tonight she is coming round to my house, or that's what the text said. She only texted me once since she had been away and that was last night.

This last month had been hell. For one my best friend wasn't there and she was hurting and I couldn't help her. Next were the constant rumours flying around the school about me and Ashley. Some were the truth and said me and Ashley where together but others were complete rubbish and said me and Ashley plotted together to kill her father. I never confirmed or denied any rumours. There was no point and anything I said was used against me. Next I lost my friends or should I say so called friends, Madison said and I quote "I can't have any friends who are friends with a dyke" and dumped me from the cheerleading squad.

But today was going to get better... I hope. Well after I have a go at Ashley for not texting me like she said she would, I would kiss her and make sure she was ok.

I walked down the hall to my first lesson and I couldn't help but think everyone was watching me and talking about me. They have been doing that every day but today felt different. They weren't even trying to hide that they were talking about me.

I walked into the classroom and sat in an empty seat at the back. I placed my head on the table and waiting for the class to start. I felt someone come and sit next to me but I didn't look up. For one I can't be arsed to talk to anyone today and two I just can't be bothered.

"Well class today we are doing about mid points so get your stuff out... And I must say welcome back Ashley"

What Ashley back where?

"It's good to be back" hang on the voice is coming from next to me. I turn my head and sure enough there she was, my princess, in the flesh sitting next to me. Her face wasn't red anymore and a slight smile was on her face. She was a better, a bit at least. She was still wearing her dad's leather jacket and she looks hot.

She turned to me and a bigger smiled appeared on her face. It felt like the entire class was looking at me to see what my reaction would be, all I did was look at her. I saw something in her eyes, of course I saw love and lust but I also saw something else. .. Maybe... Regret.

I turned back and started to pretend to write up the notes the teacher was now putting on the board.

Ashley past a piece of paper to me

_I need to talk to you... I missed you_

I put my hand up. "Sir can I have a bathroom pass please?"

"Of course" I got the bathroom pasts and I waited in the bathroom until she followed.

What did I see in her eyes? I am pretty sure it was regret but what can she be regretting? I am only mad about the texts, so she forgot to text me, but she was grieving, I would forgive her.

The bathroom doors opened and I knew she followed. "I knew you would...." my sentenced was cut short by Ashley lips on mine. I missed her kisses, I missed what she tasted like, and I missed her. The kiss quickly became unbreakable and ravenous. She walked me backward until my back hit the wall. Our tongue were dancing all the while her hands where slowly creeping up my top.

I broke the kiss and looked deeply into her eyes. She wasn't expecting that and her eyes quickly diverted to the floor. Why could she look not at me in the eyes?

"Ashley look at me "i whispered "Ashley tell me what's wrong". I am getting anxious now.

She removed her hands from under my t-shirts and backed away from me "I didn't mean to do that" still not looking at me "just when I saw you I couldn't resist". She still wasn't looking at me and now i was getting more apprehensive. I started to walk up to her but she backed away.

"Spence... I..." she whispered a single tear left her eyes and still she wasn't looking at me " Spence I had sex with someone else"

**What! **No... No.... no... this can't be happening. Nope this is not right. She's lying... nope she didn't... She couldn't of... she wouldn't.

I looked at her and the moment her eyes finally met mine I knew she was telling the truth. I must of stood the not moving, not saying anything for a while.

"Spence ... Your scaring me" she started to walk to be but I held out my hand to stop her. I diverted my eyes. It hurt to look at her, physically hurt. I can feel my heart breaking just being in the same room as her." Spencer..."

Slap.

I slapped Ashley right across the face. I don't think I meant to. It was like my arm had a life of its own. Her head whipped back and her palm placed against her hurt cheek.

"No!" I shouted with gritted teeth "don't talk to me!" I could feel the tears building up in my eyes, my hands were shaking as I tried to control my emotions, "Just leave me alone" whisper as I walk past her. Not looking at her and being careful not to touch her.

I entered into class and went straight on with my work. Ashley came in some while later. On the right hand side of her face you could clearly see a hand print, my hand print, I could tell she had been crying and so could the rest of the class, they were wondering what had happened and I can bet by the end of today everyone will know something had happened betweeon me and Ashley... But for once I didn't want to comfort her. I wanted to punch her.

As soon as the bell rang I practically ran out the room and just faintly hearher shouting out my name but I just kept walking.

I found a deserted place within the campus and just cried, hoping no one would find me.

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Hope you like... sorry about grammar and spelling... please review : )


	9. Second Chance

Usual disclaimers

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Second Chance

I don't know how long I have been sitting here. Her words are on repeat in my mind. It won't stop. How could she. She loves me or should I say loved me because there is no way a person who loves someone cheats on them. She promised me we were forever and now she has sex with some else.

"Spencer please talk to me" I open my eyes and she is standing right in front of me. Her makeup is a mess, she had been crying.

"Why should I!" I get up from the ground and start to walk away from her when she grabs my arm and spins me around so we are face to face. "Spencer please let me explain" I snatch my arm from her grip.

"Don't you dare touch me" I say with gritted teeth. She takes a step back, so she must have caught the most obvious thing on the planet. That I was pissed off beyond belief. "You slept with some else... What more is they to say!" We really shouldn't be having this convocation here but I can't control my mouth at this moment. Slowly students who had heard us were forming a group around us, dying to know what were shouting about.

"Spencer please not here" I here hear plead. I don't give a damn.

"What so you mean I cant ask if you had a great fuck?" I shout. I know I am being a bitch but I am just so mad at her. I was about to retract what I just said when something caught my eye, a dark piece of skin on her neck most likely the remains of a shag bite and I feel nothing .my heart has officially left my body .

Whoever said Intimacy is a four symbol word for here is my heart and soul please grind up and turn into a hamburger and enjoy, was a genius because that is exactly how I feel.

"Your don't even clever enough to cover the evidence up" I mumble "Spencer... what? Spencer please talk to me" she was begging but now she can go fuck her self.

"I said " I walked up to her and I could she her visibly tense. The crowd that was around us suddenly became quite when I finally invaded her personal space. "You're not even clever enough to cover the evidence up" I touched her neck where the bruise was and I could feel Goosebumps appear. She looked into my eyes and I could truly tell she regretted what she did but she broke my heart .she doesn't deserve as second chance.

I close my eyes because I can't have her looking into me. I steady my breathing because it was unsteadying as of the emotions running though me. I placed one hand on her cheek; she leaned into my touch like she had done hundreds of times before but this would be the last. I kissed her cheek, my lips lightly touched her cheek. I pulled back and a saw a tear ecaspe from her eyes "goodbye Ash" I Whispered and turned and walked away.

This time I know she was shouting i heard her start running toward me; she all of a sudden stopped. I turned to see why she had stopped. My brothers where in the way, they must of been in the crowd. Glen and Clay didn't know about mine and her relationship but they knew we were close. I turned and walked away. In the distant I heard Ashley having a shouting match with my brothers. But I carried walking all the way till I got home.

I have been curled up on my bed for what has seems like hours. My parents and both brothers have knocked on the door to get me to talk to them. And all four occasion i told them in no uncertain terms to fuck off.

I feel so used. I mean I tied to help her and I all get was a very public breakup with a former lover.

Life's a bitch.

I want to find the person who slept with Ashley. i want to kick them and maybe punch them if they at the right height. I want to say thank you for fucking up my life.

"Spencer open the door please someone here to see ya" if it's Ashley I swear to god I will kill her.

I whip open the door and she my brother standing behind a girl I have never seen, but looks slight familiar .my brother mouths sorry to me and runs down the stairs. Every one meets Glen the coward.

"Hey" she held out her hands for me to shake but when I didn't extend my hand she withdrew.

"Who the fuck are you?" I can't help but take out my pissed out mood to a total stranger.

"Sorry you have no idea who I am can I come in we have a lot to talk about?" I didn't let her in. I mean why would i invite a total stranger into my bedroom?.I mean I don't even know her name. I stand my ground but she barges past me.

"Look what the fuck do you want? And what is your name?" I say as she makes her way to my desk chair. Make yourself at home why don't you.

"Listen please sit down I am here to help... my name is Kyla Woods." I don't know a Kyla Woods do I? but I compile with her wishes, mostly because I don't have the energy to stand and be pissed at the same time.

I sit on the edge of my bed and wait for her to continue. She wheels my chair so she is sitting right opposite me. "My name is Kayla Woods, I believe you know my sister" she says dead serious.

She's a nutter for sure.

" I think you have me confused with someone else. i don't know anyone with the surname of Woods". Why isn't she moving? She should be moving to the door and saying sorry for the mistake but her not. She is looking even more serious.

"My sister is Ashley Davies" my heart has stopped beating. Ashley doesn't have a sister. I was right the first time she is a nutter. "Listen _Kyla_ I think you need to go now. Ashley doesn't have sister. She is only child." I stand up and open the door and mention for her to leave me alone to cry out my heart break. Why is she still sitting down?

"Her dad had affair with my mum. Raife Davies is my dad. Ask Ashley if you don't believe me but I don't you will be able to understand her." I slam the door and stared pacing in the room. She had a sister and lied to me what else did she hide?

"What do you want" I say not looking at her . I just want her to go.

"I know what you think but she didn't lie to you about me" I gave her my _stop bullshitting me_ look "no really I am telling the truth we only found out about each other three weeks ago when we went to are dads will reading. Anyway I am not here to talk to you about that I am her to talk to you about you and Ashley"

"There is no me and Ashley! Didn't you get the memo she cheated on me." I shouted pointing at her.

" listen I know you don't want to hear this but you need to know what happened please take a seat and I will explain but please once I start don't interrupt because I will forget what I will be saying and I will have start from the beginning and you wouldn't want that." I stopped form pacing and sat down so I was in front of her.

"Go ahead and it better be good."

"When I met Ashley she was a mess. She put on a brave face but I could tell it was a mask. She was hiding it pretty well. Maybe it a sister thing I don't know but I could just tell our fathers death hit her harder then it hit me. Once we found out we where sisters we had a bid fight. We both couldn't believe we were related, but we were"

"Three days ago I get a call from Ashley saying we should meet up. Of course I just wanted to get to know my sister so I immediately said yes and we agreed to meet up at Grays. We sat there for an hour talking. Mostly about you and how much she loved you, whilst we were talking, we were drinking, a lot. It was bout twelve a clock when a very drunk Ashley started dancing with a boy. She must of known him because there were kinda dancing real close . I remember he kissed her. She pushed him back. You must know that she said no at first. But then he said something to her I don't know what but then she lead him to the bathroom"

"I followed to make sure she was safe and didn't get hurt. When I heard them to you know... Well after they had finished he existed the bathroom and just left her there. I went into the bathroom and heard Ashley crying I knocked on the door to see if she was okay"

"Spencer she was crying, saying she cheated on you and that she hated herself. And that she should go to your house that instant and beg for her forgiveness. She really does love you, you have to know that."

"Anyway I brought her home and she cried herself to sleep. She was ashamed of herself, Every night since she had cried herself to sleep. When she woke up this morning she told me she would tell you everything and beg you for forgiveness. Well I see how that turned out. She came home after that fight today and headed straight for the booze cabinet and has been drinking since she got home. It like she is dead."

Tears where streaming down my face, by the sounds of it she is truly sorry for cheating but i can't help but think she could have said no again or just walked off.

"I will leave you now ... I just thought you should know."

"Make sure she okay" I whimper between sobs. She nods and walks out of the room.

I lie back down on my bed and cry again. My heart still feels like it's broken but now it also feels conflicted. She did cheat on me but she was grieving and drunk. Everyone makes mistakes. Admittedly Ashley made a big fuck off mistake but everyone disserves a second chance.

Right?

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Hope you like... i know shorter than the last one but it is a double update today. Please review.


	10. How I Miss Your Touch

How I Miss Your Touch

It's been 6 weeks since my and Ashley had broken up and it still feels like my heart is broken. Slowly with my new best friend, kyla, it has slowly started to heal and feel less brokeny. At first I didn't want to be friends with a relative of Ashley's but since Kyla moved schools, and was now in most of my classes is was hard to ignore her and we have been best friends ever since.

I see Ashley most days at school. It was horrible at first, she kept on wanted to talk to me but I had my bodyguards (Glen, Clay and Kyla) to protect me, finally Kyla had to have a word with Ashley to get her to stop talking me. Whatever she said must have worked because I haven't talked to her in more than 4 weeks', I have seen her though. She puts on a tough front but I can see right though it. Behind her tough girl act her heart is breaking just like mine. Everyday it's hard not to go up her and say I forgive you and kiss her and never let go. But I don't know if I do or not. Every day she hangs around her friends and I hang around with Kyla and my brothers.

Well now I am on my bed watching Kyla pick me out an outfit tonight. She has made me agree to go to some party that's been hosted at her house or should I say Ashley house, because now they have to share a house due to some clause in her dads will or something.

"Come on ... all you've got church clothes... We need to bring out sexy Spence" Kyla says throwing all my clothes from my closet on to the floor and starts looking though then.

"I resent that ... I have clothes lots of clothes... what about that one" I point at a black band t-shirt.

"It's a Beatles top ... Beatles ... you're not going to a concert full of old dead people. You're going to a party, with living breathy fuckable people ... Hang on this will do nicely" she chucks me some clothes "right get changed, I am going down stairs and getting a drink "she exists the room.

I stand opposite my mirror. I'm short black shorts (if you could call them that , it's more like a belt) and a white tight top with a design on my back. My hair is done up ringlets and even I have to say I look hot. I really don't want to go because Ashley is more then likely to be there. But once Kyla wants something you can't say no.

"Wow Spencer you look... hot... Right lets go" she grabbed my hand and dragged me down the stairs to her car.

I can feel the vibrations of the music running through me and it's not helping how much my heart is beating. I have been here for about two hours and still I haven't seen Ashley and if am very surprised at that fact. I can't believe Kyla who is sat next to me, hasn't heard my heart beat. That maybe because she is sucking face with one of the basket ball players.

She is defiantly a Davies.

The continuous smacking of Kyla's and that dudes lips is making me want to gag and making feel a tad bit jealous at the same time. Not because I want to kiss her or that dude, which would just be eww. It's more I want to be at a party kissing the person I loved or should I say love ... fuck it I don't know.

I need alcohol.

I finally manage to get were all the booze is. It took be 5 minutes to get from the living room to the kitchen, 3 people pushed into me, one dude wanted to dance and i swear someone asked me even if I had seems a bugs bunny naked.

And all that time I felt someone was watching me.

One

Two

Three

After my fourth cup of tar tasting beer I kind of feel a bit tipsy. I mean I am a bit of a light weight but this beer has hardly any alcohol in it so I am not that bad but I am kinda swaying a bit.

"I wondered where you went" Kyla shouted so I could hear her above the music, as she started to fill her own cup of beer. She must have finally come up for air.

"Well I got sick of watching you playing tonsil tennis so i came in here" I say teasing her. She turns bright red.

"Sorry about that, he's just a good kisser."

"i guessed" I smirked and I swear she got even redder if that's possible.

She downs her beer in one.

"Enough with the talking... let's dance" she grabbed my hand and dragged me to the dance floor.

I haven't danced in so long. I think the last time was with Ashley but that wasn't dancing, there were more teasing than actual dancing. Dancing with Kyla is a lot different than dancing with Ashley for a start there is a gap between us and only are hands are touching and she is constantly tiring to persuade me to have sex with her in the pool.

_Stop ... stop comparing everyone to Ashley she cheated on you. Right no more thinking of Ashley. No more thinking about her hands on my hips and her mouth on my... STOP!_

The music is vibrating throughout my body I think it's Muse Supper Massive Black Hole but I don't know. I am swaying my hips to the music just getting lost in it. I don't care that a bunch of boys are around me trying to dance with me, I just reject them and carry on dancing.

A pair of hands lands on my hip from behind and I don't have to guess whose they belong to because I already know.

Ashley.

I miss her so much. I miss the way her nose crinkles when she smiles, I miss the way she laughed at my jokes even when they're not funny but most of all I miss her touch.

She touched my hips and I feel like electricity is running right though my body. Memories of all the nights and days we spent together came to the front of my mind and I can't help but smile.

She pulls me closely to her. I can feel her breast slightly grazing back and my hips are sway in the identical time as hers

"You look so ... I haven't been able to take my eyes of you tonight... It took all my strength not to take you up against a wall and have my way with you in front of everyone", her hot breath tickling my ear and I swear my knees nearly collapsed.

_Why am I feeling this way she cheating on me... I need to hate her_. How can I hate when her hands a stroking my stomach like that?

"Ash you need to stop" I say with no conviction behind it. I put my hands on top of hers and try to remove them but she just pulls me closer in her, her breasts are pressed against my back, my breathe hitches at the back of my throat. I haven't even seen her yet but I can already tell she wants me. She turns me around so where face to face. Her eyes are nearly black with desire, were no longer swaying, and were more like grinding in time with the music. It like the entire party, the entire world isn't there and it's just me and Ashley dancing by our self's. One of her hands is on my hip the other on is teasing my stomach. My arms are around her neck. We haven't stopped staring at each other since she turned me around and I can't be feeling excited.

I had forgotten just by one look, Ashley can make me wet.

"If you really want me to stop" her husky voice makes me forgot how mad at her. "Say stop and I will walk away" her eyes dance from my eyes to my lips.

Ashley's eyes are jet black now and I have completely forgotten we are in the middle of the dance floor. She moves her legs so it's in-between mine she pressed her thigh on my burning centre. _Fuck _I bite my lip to stop a moan from escaping, I slam my eyes shut willing myself to move away from her. She slowly traces my side with one of her hands, going further up my sides till she reaches my breast just teasing underneath were i so desperately want her to touch. _Move away. Just say stop... Just fuck!_ Ashley just kissed my neck, well i say kiss it was more of a bite. I grind into her legs more and she applies more pressure to my centre with her bare thigh.

_Fuck Ashley don't stop!_

_No stop!_

_Don't stop!_

_No stop!_

_Stop!_

_Stop!_

I place my hand on her face and lift it up.

"Ashley" I concentrate on my breathing." Ashley stop" i just manage to get out. She close's her eyes and I swear I just saw I tear. She removes her hands slowly from my body; she looks to the ground slowly nods and walks away.

Shit!

Have I done the right thing?

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Hope you like the next update should be today or tomorrow. I don't know whether to bring spashley back in the next chapter or should I wait? Let me know what you think by hitting the review button.


	11. Feeling The Moment

Feeling the Moment

As happens sometimes, a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. Then gradually time awakened again and moved sluggishly on.

_- John Steinbeck, Of Mice and Men'_

_

* * *

_

The moment Ashley's started to walk away from me, it's like the world just stopped. I can't hear the music any more. I can't hear the laughing of the jocks or the jokes of the nerd's, I not feel the people pushing in to me or the vibrations of the music. I can't feel anything except my heart beat. It's beating so fast. I see Ashley starting to walk away, bit by bit the world became normal again. The music increases, movement becomes more rapid, and the lame jokes are coming into hearing range and yet still I am looking at Ashley disappearing into the crowd.

I did the right thing right? She did cheat on me. She did break my heart into thousand in pieces. But I do miss her and she does miss me. Why couldn't I have said nothing and just danced with her like old times? Why couldn't I stayed there and let everything go and forgive her?

When I use to look into the future and think when all my dreams come true, who did I want next to me, my answer was always Ashley. When all my dreams were achieved or when my dreams crashed and burned around me, I wanted her next to me, to celebrate or to drown my sorrows; I wanted her next to me.

_I think I still want her next to me_

My head is telling me to forget her and move on but my heart.

_I know I still want her next to me_.

That's telling me to run and follow her.

_Fuck it _

I am going to follow her.

Where Kyla she might know where she went?

"Kyla? Kyla! where are you?" I shout at looking around people, I finally find her "Kyla did you see where Ashley went? " I shout so she can hear me.

"Yeah" thank god "I think she was heading to the pool house"

"Okay" I turn heading to the direction of the pool house, when Kyla grabs my arm and whispers in my ear.

"She misses you, don't hurt her", sisterly love at its finest ladies and gentleman.

I nod and she lets go of my arm.

I slowly open the door dreading to see Ashley... I close the door unhurriedly so she can't hear me and lean against it without saying a word, and just look at her. She is sitting on the edge of the pool with her feet dangling in the water, her make up running as she shamelessly cries' don't even think she knows I am here.

"Please" I just about hear her "please go away"

"Ashley..." I say barely above a whisper. I push myself of the door and gradually make my way closer to her.

"stop" she hold her arm out to stop me without even looking" please don't come any closer" her voice her husky with all the crying she must of done.

"I am sorry" she whispers to the water she slowly looks at me straight in the eye "I am so sorry .. I didn't ...I am sorry" she says with so much conviction there not a doubt left in my mind that she is truly sorry for what she did. I want to go up to her wrap my arms around her and say everything is going to be alright, but I honestly don't know.

But I do know I need answers.

"Sorry wouldn't make what you did go away" I firmly say. She looks away like I have hit her in the gut sorry won't fix my heart" I point to my heart to emphasize the point.

"Don't you think I know that!" she quickly get up from the pool and is now standing in front of my"don't you think I know that! Do you think breaking your heart was something I ever wanted to do?"

"Then why do it!" my emotion are getting the better of me and I should let them. She looks away and bits her lip searching for anything to say.

"What did he say?"

"What did who say" Ashley looking confused

" I said the boy you had ... What did he say" her eyes go wide; I don't think she knew I knew who she slept with.

"You know... how you...Kyla" she says finally figuring out her sister as told me, so she can't lie. She turns her gaze back on to the water.

I haven't moved from this spot since she told me to stop and I am paying for that now. Every muscle in my body is dyeing to pacing up and down until I get an answer. I push the urge down and pray to God Ashley explains.

"Aiden..." she mumbles out. " I slept with Aiden" where have I heard that name before... hang on is that...no... Can't be.

"Your ex! You slept with your ex!", When she cheats she does it with style.

"I am sorry" fresh tears break out across her face and looks at me. "I was drunk and I know that not an excuse but..."

"What did he say" I wipe my tears away violently with the back of my hand "Aiden what did he say to get you to sleep with him... I mean it must have been something heartfelt to get you to fuck him!" She visibly flinches.

"Well... I am waiting" and I am.

"He said...he said that he wanted me "that was it that all he said to her together to fuck him. Not some romantic I'm in love you but I want you.

"That's it?" I question her "that all he said not, I love you or you're the girl for me but I want you... I thought you were better than that" I end in a whisper.

"Well apparently I am not." I can tell she has closed down and I am not going to get anywhere with her tonight. Even if I want to carry on talking I can tell she doesn't.

"I did come here to tell you I wanted you back. That I wanted to forgive you but now you have made me change my mind... have a good life Ashley." And with that I walked out slamming my door. I lean against the door; tears threaten to leave my eyes. But I won't let them.

I pull myself together after couple of minutes and a mini freak out. I find Kyla to tell her I am off home and leave the house without looking back.

**That was a year ago.**

I have to say that point was when my life turned around. I had lost my first girlfriend and had very little friends at that moment in time. But that all changed the week I returned to school. Okay not all changed. I didn't have my ex or many friends but I started to enjoy life. I started too finally except who I was as a person. I come out to my friends and parents 3 months after my break up. My dad knew about me so he was okay with it, my brothers where cool as long as I was happy. My mum well the least said about that the better. Let's just say having a daughter who was gay wasn't on her Christmas wish list. But after a while and a couple of very tense dinners she learned accept me for who I am not who I choose to date.

It took a while to finally get over Ashley exactly 6 months and 24 days. I know how many days because the day I woke up and didn't immediately think of Ashley was the day I knew I was over her. I remember that day I walked in to school with a spring in my step and a smile on my face. Kyla thought I was drugs.

I saw Ashley every day after the party she went back to being the school rebel and took it to the extreme. She became involved in more fights and slept with more people until one day she just stopped. I think she just stop caring. I honestly don't know what happened. Maybe she realised that I wasn't coming back or that a fuck wasn't going to make her happy. I don't know and to be honest my life is better without her. For once I am happy.

Any way it's my first day back to school since summer break and I can't wait to get there. I haven't seen Kyla all of the summer because she was on holiday with her sister. I and Kyla sorta have an unspoken rule.

Never talk about Ashley

And so fair it been fine, and it will continue on being that way. I look in me mirror to check to check out my school attire, and even I have to admit I look hot.

Skinny jeans with a tight white top with a black tie, damn I'm hot.

I walk up to school and get jumped on by Kyla almost instantly.

" hey's how was Spain" I say whilst trying to pry Kyla of me.

"It was awesome thanks for asking how your holiday?"

"Well if you must know it was horrible" I say trying to gain sympathy " you see my best friend went away and left me all on my own"

"Well you have I rubbish best friend ... Show her to me and I might hit her and if you're lucky I might throw in a kick " she said with a smile " look in the mirror" I reply and pick up her own hand and wave it in front of her own face

"funny" Kyla deadpans " any gotta go class await see you at lunch" and waves good bye.

I go up to my first lesson Media. I get out my stuff and wait for the class to begin taking no notice to who enters into the room. I just sat there writing some song to pass the time. I started writing song to get out all my emotions of Ashley but now I do it because I like an outlet for all my emotions plus it fun.

"Right today class we are going to start a project I will put you into groups and you have to make a video about your partner, it doesn't matter what kind of video it could last 30 seconds or 5 minutes , but it must be a video. The end of the term you can show it to the class and it can get marked... alrighty then Marks go with Wright, Parker go with Hale and Carlin go with Davies"

Hang on Kyla not it in my lesson

Shit!

I Hope you like the ending better... please review and sorry for my other chapter it must of been really bad. Hope this one is better :) please review


	12. The Tides Change

I hope you like this new chapter. I am actually glad I redid the last chapter because I like this chapter.

* * *

The Tides Change

Well this isn't awkward.

Nope

Not awkward at all.

Just me and my ex sitting at the same table having to do a media project together. Not awkward at all. Even though we haven't said a word to each other and there is painful silence hovering over us, it's not awkward at all.

Who I am kidding, this is awkward.

Like more awkward then doing the walk of shame.

Or even better, doing the walk of shame whilst naked, Okay maybe not that awkward but still you get my point

"So... this is "

"Awkward" I finish her sentence before she can finish it. The first thing I say to Ashley in a year is "awkward" _nice going Spencer really nice going_. I let out a nervous laugh to try and to decrease the level of tension in my body.

"Listen Spencer" she moves her gazes from the table to look at me. I study every inch of her profile, her eyes are still hypnotising as ever, and her lips look as soft as there ever did. She is wearing a low cut top with a black vest and a short skirt.

Yerp ladies and gentlemen, she's still got it.

"Let's just do the project, then afterward you can go back to ignoring me" I did not expect Ashley to say that. to be so straight forward, I hoped she would at least me civil to me. But okay I can deal with bitchy Davies.

"okay" I say trying to not show emotion" why don't you come around to my house and we can talk about who we want to do this project, seen as we have two videos to record, we should actually start to do some filming"

"Too much history "was all she replied. And she was right. My house is full of 'Spashley' history. The first date was at my house, the first argument, the first time we had sex, was all done at my house. She right _way_ to much history to go there. I can tell this project is going to be like getting blood from a stone, stupid and pointless.

"Well, where do you suggest. O wise one." Great now my emotions are getting the better of me. Ashley not the only one who can be a bitch.

"The beach" I could do that. Never been to the beach with Ashley it neutral ground. No history, like it. "7.30"

"Okay see ya there" I say. The deafen silence returns as we run out of thing to say. Please let this class finish now.

The rest of the day it felt as if I was on auto pilot, going to room to room but not really taking in any information which the teachers where trying to drill into my head. The only thing I learned is that my feelings for Ashley haven't disappeared completely, there more like...hidden, yeah there hidden very, very deep down. So deep down I forgot there were there. Since I spoke to Ashley I can feel them trying to fight free from the cage I put them in.

* * *

I arrive at the beach just before 7.30. I need to pick up the courage to actually get out the car and walk towards her. I can see Ashley in the distance. Just standing on the shoreline watching the waves gently role in, from the distance she looks calm all most serene .I push all the feels down I don't need or want and exist my car. I take of my shoes and I make my way up to Ashley, the soft sand gently caresses my feet. I stop when I finally reach her. I stand side by side looking into the horizon. She doesn't acknowledge my presence but I think I see a smile creeping up from her face. She really did pick a beautiful spot to meet.

"I like it here. It quite" I didn't expect Ashley to talk first. Her voice sounds like she is reminiscing. "I feel like the bag load of emotional garbage I carry around get sweeped away with the tide, and I am free of the burden...just instantly calmed. I feel as if the world is going on around me but I am just stood still taking it all in. An escape, it helps me remember everything I've lost but also everything I could gain" she turns and looks at me. "The project is about is each other right, thought it might help."

I'm speechless. Why did she just say that? She said it was because of the project but I don't think that was why. If it was for the project she would have said something to keep her school reputation of the rebel intact, not something so heartfelt. She said it because I was standing next to her, for that I am sure of.

How do you reply to that?

"so" she turns and walks along the shore line, I follow" this project is going to be ... awkward to say the least"

"Doesn't have to be" I counter with confidence.

"Your right" knew I was "but it's going to be" she says. She goes forward a few more a paces and turns so she is directly in front of me "there's too much history, too much... heart break to be anything different. I can tell, you don't want to be here, it took you ten minutes to get out the car." She with have a grin "But I have to tell you" she makes sure I am looking in her eyes, "I want to be here." She closes her eyes to collect herself.

"erm... why" she looks confused, I clear my throat " why do you want to be here?", I don't have to ask this question to know the answer.

She opens her eyes and I see honesty and so much passion. "I want my friend back" she says and turns and ways away.

She's about 100 meters in front of me before my voice starts to work again. Hating Ashley is the most exhausting and time consuming thing i have every had to do and I don't think I want to do it anymore.

"I want my friend back too! " I shout before she's out of hearing distant. I can almost see the spring in her step and her grins appear on her face.

I don't follow her. I don't think she wants me to. I can't help but think she chose the setting for a reason, I mean our relationship changing again, just like the waves of the sea. At first we where enemies, then friends, then lovers, then back to being enemies and I think we might be heading toward friendship. I can't help but think.

Will we return to be lovers?


	13. I Will Be

Usual disclaimers

* * *

I Will Be

After Ashley left me at the beach, I stayed at there for a bit to take in everything every memory, every thought, every feeling, every denied emotion, I let it all over take me. I did want to be her friend, for that I am sure, maybe more. All last night I was thinking about Ashley, which I haven't done in a long while. I somehow managed to get some sleep, so I can just about focus at school today.

I am in my free period in the library. That, you might think is dorky and it is, but it is quiet and no one bothers me here. Last year when I came out to my friends or so called friends, the library became my sanctuary. No one followed me in here so they didn't call me names or stare. I come in here now to escape the loudness of school and to write my songs. I can't sing or anything but it just calms me. I have been stuck on this song for the past couple of months.

_There's nothing I could say to you  
nothing I could ever do to make you see  
what you mean to me_

_All the pain, the tears I cried  
still you never said goodbye and now I know  
How far you'd go_

I can't seem to get past this verse and it's starting to get on my last nerves. I put it away in the cupboard a few weeks ago but when I came home last night, I took it out. I don't know why. I have been looking at this page since the start of my free period and inspiration has still yet to find me.

"What you writing?" hear from behind me, my piece of paper is taken away from the table. Without realising who it I instantly jump up and grab the piece of paper of their hands.

"Give it back!" I shout at the person... Who turns out to me Ashley

" I didn't know you wrote songs" she says. There's a hint of regret but also interest, like she's interested about the songs and she regrets not knowing this about me.

"well there s a lot of things you don't know about me" I snap and sit back down. Turning over the page so she can't see what I have written. She sits next to me but doesn't say anything, she does start to grin though. _I thought she wanted to my friend, stealing my work is a great way to go._

"look what do you want" I say not looking in her direction

"we really need to start on this project" she smiles

"Okay tell me when and where we can do it then" I say turning over the page effectively telling her the conversation is over.

Apparently she didn't get the message, either that or she ignored the hint.

"So... What song you writing? She peers over to try and have a better look

"Nothing" I turn the page over again. Now she just is getting on my nerves. I know she wants to be my friend but I don't show anyone my songs. No one knows I write these. Well now Ashley does.

"Look what you doing here?"

"I thought I could ask you some questions... you know for the Project" she asks shyly. Since when was Ashley ever shy? She tilts her head giving me a clear view of her cheeky grin. I could never resist that.

"Okay "I let out a breath and turn my body to face her. "Shall we start" a smile appearing on my face. She turns over a piece of paper and starts to write on it.

"Name?"

"Spencer Carlin" if every question is going to be this easy this if going to be fun.

"Age?"

"17"

"Occupation?"

"Student"

"Family?"

"Come on... Ashley you know all the questions" I laugh starting to relax around her. She does know all these questions and more.

"You want something harder?" she grins at me.

"Hit me... But not literally" she laughs there's a pause and starts to write on the piece of paper again.

What have I gotten myself into?

"Have you ever stolen something?" _Thats not that bad_

"Yes ... A CD ... it was a bet." I say covering my tracks. I smile at the memory. At the corner of my eye I see Ashley smile. I can tell she is remembering the time she bet me to steal a CD. She didn't think I would do it. I did. But then I went back into the store and paid for it. She writes down my answers and fires back another question.

"First kiss"

"My friend back in Ohio" I say shivering with the memory it brings up. The memory isn't bad it's just the kiss was very awkward. Ashley must have seen my shiver because she tries to hide a laugh, very unsuccessfully. Then I see her body language changes and I can't help but fear her next question.

"First time you said I love you"

I knew it

I just knew it.

She knows the answer to this question.

It was her.

She was the first person I said I love you to.

_Flashback_

"_Ash... we... need... to... stop" I breathe our between kisses." Why?" she moves from my mouth to my neck, licking, biting, marking. Why do we need to stop again? O yeah homework._

"_Ashley I have...Mmm" she plants kissed down my neck and expertly hits my sensitive spots; instinctively I move my neck so she has more room. Her hands stop playing with my shirt and intend lifts it. Once my top is off, I am left in just jeans and a bra, she straddles me. Kissing me, our tongues gliding across each other._

"_Ash... we ... Have... home...work" I breathe out. Don't stop Ashley! she guides me back, so I am on my back lying on my bed facing her. She moves her mouth up to my lips and kisses me with so much passion and love I think my heart might exploded. She pulls back and I let out a moan._

"_Ash?" I whisper wondering why she stopped. She looks straight at me like she is trying to memorise every inch of me. Love is pouring out of her. She tucks and bit of loose hair behind my ears_

"_I love you ... You know that right" it was almost a whisper but I heard it. She looks shy like she doesn't know what my reaction would be._

"_I know Ashley... I love you too "I reply with as much honesty and genuineness as I can muster. I lean in and kiss her._

_End of flash back_

My emotion quickly changes quick cheerful so closed off

"no more questions Ashley" I say and turn my body away from her.

"Why Spencer?"

"Because you know the answer" I shout whisper .Since where in the library I cant really shout even though that's what every inch of my body is telling me to do

"Maybe but the people in our class don't" why is she pushing me?

"Okay you want to know who I said I love you to first." She nods so I continue" It was Ashley Davies" I say bitterly at her. "The same girl who broke my heart, you happy now" I ask her and I can tell she isn't, far from it actually, Her grin has completely gone and all that is left is regret.

Silence engulf us. For 10 tense minute we just sit there wondering whose going to break the silence.

"I am sorry" she says looking at her hands."" I shouldn't of said that" she passes me the piece of paper she has been writing on "I over stepped my boundaries as a friend. I'll text you any more questions"

"Yeah" I say almost to myself and she leaves. I don't dare look at her, if I do I don't know what I would say.

It takes me 10 minutes to calm myself down. I have around 5 minutes of free period left and I still haven't done any more on my song.

I look at the scrap piece of paper Ashley gave me.

_For your song-A_

_I know I let you down  
But it's not like that now  
This time I'll never let you go_

_I will be, all that you want  
And get myself together  
Coz you keep me from falling apart  
All my life, I'll be with you forever  
To get you through the day  
And make everything okay_

Well I guess Ashley wants more than friendship.

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	14. The Beach

The Beach

_Last time_

_I know I let you down_  
_But it's not like that now_  
_This time I'll never let you go_

_I will be, all that you want_  
_And get myself together_  
_Coz you keep me from falling apart_  
_All my life, I'll be with you forever_  
_To get you through the day_  
_And make everything okay_

_Well I guess Ashley wants more than friendship._

* * *

I think I always knew Ashley wanted more the friendship. Ever since last night at the beach i knew she wanted more than friendship. The lyrics to the song so gave me showed that. i haven't gone to my next last. Inspiration in the shape of Ashley hit me over the head. I have come up with the next verse .i bite my pen concentrating on the next verse.

_I thought that I had everything_  
_I didn't know what life could bring_  
_But now I see, honestly_

My phone beeps so i pick it up.

_Favourite colour-A _

I can't help but smile. Does she ever give up? I don't know whether to reply to her. I guess she does need this for the project. But am I ready to maybe go back into a relationship with her of any kind, i don't know. If you said 5 days ago I would be talking to Ashley again I would of laughed in your face but now I am actually talking to her. I don't know ... i think I like it. I guess I have made my chose. I am going to text her.

_Brown, Favourite number –S__._To people can play twenty questions. I instantly get a reply

_I thought u were in class, 4 fav band-A _smile to the text. It feels like old timed when me and Ashley would secretly text each other.

_CBA, 3DG, fav pet?-S how_ come I can't stop smiling? I mean it only a text. Texts form my ex, who I may or may not have deep deep hidden feelings for.

_U sud b working, like me, dog-A _i let out a laugh.

This feels so easy.

To easy maybe.

_CBA 2 text beach tonite?-A _maybe I shouldn't I mean remember the last time we were in the same place at the same time, it brought back memories I want to stay hidden. But maybe if I go we can talk about things. I slowly pick up may phone and type a message that might change are relationship.

_6.30 same place-S_ I don't wait to get a reply I stuff my phone back in my bag. I already know that the reply is going to be.

I can't wait for tonight

I walk on the beach just taking it all in. The blue sky, the softness of the sand, the tranquillity of the waves and it instantly relaxes me. I can't help but look around for

Ashley even though I know she won't be here. It not until another hour toll she'll get here but I don't mind, maybe I will be able to right some more songs. I make myself comfortable on the sand, withdraw my song book out of my bag and started reading though my songs. It's weird the first couple of songs are about Ashley and how I missed her , then turns into songs about regret then about how good my life is. It's amazing these songs kinda of portray my life this past year.

" heyy" I look up and Ashley is standing infront of me. She's nervous.

" heyy" I smile back and pat the sand next to me inviting her to sit down.

"i didn't think you would turn up, I mean after what happen in the library I didn't think you would want to see me" she say whilst looking at me. To be fair two hours ago I wasn't going to come but then I thought why I am the one hiding when she wants to be friend and maybe more.

"Well..." I let out a nervous laugh " I thought we really need to do this project and I couldn't be bothered to text so I thought we might as well get it over and done with tonight" disappointment appears on her face but she quickly covers it up with a smile.

"okay let s get started shall we." She takes out her note pad and camera and places it up on a tripod looking at me. I copier but I put the video record in my hand.

"so Miss Carlin" she starts " what moment defined who you are" talking about going into the deep end.

I take time to pretend to think about it but I already know it.

The day I met Ashley

"About 16 months ago give or take" I say with a smile. She trying to work out when that was, I can tell she figures it out because her smile becomes wider. I have a sinking feeling this interview is not going to be about the project. I should be scared. I should be runaway.

Why aren't I running away?

I know why am not running because I want answers to the many questions I have.

"What happened then" she inquires. I tilt my heads a bit and give her the _you know what_ _i am talking about_ look but I answer her question anyway. I look down at the sand than back up at Ashley "I met you".

The familiar silence hovers over us but this time I will break it first. I pick up my cam and say " what you do in you free time ?" to be fair I can't think of a better question.

She picks up my song book and flicks though it.

" nothing just listen to music I guess" she shrugs. She stops at the song lyric she gave me early on today and just stares at the extra verse i wrote. She takes out her note book and starts to write something.

Great the silence is back.

"So...erm...what the naughtiest thing you have ever done?"

A grin appears on her face; she closes the book, lies on her back and closes her eyes. I shift my body a bit and move the camera so it's still on her face which means I am sorta leading over her. "Last year I went to a swimming pool with you" I have to laugh at that memory.

" I remember that alright" I say looking out at the sea.

* * *

_Flashback _

" _mmm... Spencer" Ash manages to get out between kisses. We are against the side of Ash's swimming pool, getting way to up close and personal. Her hand is on stroking my back and my hands are gliding over her abs. The warm water caress both are bodies. Ash is sandwiched between me and the cool tiles._

_I could never get enough of Ashley kisses_

_Suddenly she grabs my shoulders and quickly turns us around and my back thumps against the cool tiles but don't feel it. All I feel is Ashley trying to undo bikini top. My hands in her hair as she kisses my neck, she finally undoes my bikini top and throws it to the other side of the pool._

"_Have I told you how much I prefer you naked?" she says whilst kisses my neck and descending. My heart rate quickens in anticipation for where her mouths is heading. "Not lately "I breathe out. My breath becoming ragged due to the tortures path Ashley is on... _

" _well I do" she mumble into my skin then she suck my breast whilst her hands play with my bikini bottoms. I catch my breath as her warm month covers my breast. My legs instinctively wrap around her waist and push her more into me craving contact. I somehow mange to grab her bikini strap and untie it throwing the offending piece of clothing somewhere behind me. Her hand slowly descends and cups my centre. _

"_fuck ash" I breathe out . My body arches at the contact._

_End of flashback_

_

* * *

_

I rip my mind back to the present. If I go any further into the past i swear my whole face will be burning white because I am blushing that much.

" yo Spencer where did you go?" Ashley asks waving a hand in front of my face. I shake my head trying to get rid of the memory. I push her hand away but I don't let go of it. She looks down at it then back up to me.

"Sorry " I whisper and let go of it

"never say sorry Spence" she said my nick name. My heart stops. I eyes flickers from my eyes to my lips then back up again I swear she is leaning into me.

Yerp she is.

Why aren't I moving away?

Shit move!

He lips are on mine.

There on mine lightly.

I can hardly feel it but her lips are defiantly on mine.

I can taste her, pure Ashley. It's almost like a trance like I am waiting for something to happen, for one of us to deepen the kiss.

But that doesn't happen.

Ashley quickly pulls back, a look of pure shock covers her. My hand shots up to my lips and touches them.

She quickly shots up from the ground

" i didn't... erm..." she gathers her stuff as quickly as humanly possible and practically runs away.

Fuck what do I do?

"Ashley wait" I get up and run to her. Her head is down.

There must be something very interesting in the sand.

She rips out a page in her note book and passes it to me.

_You're the one thing I got right_  
_The only one I let inside_  
_Now I can breathe, coz you're here with me_

_And if I let you down_  
_I'll turn it all around_  
_Coz I will never let you go_

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_Please review: ) _

_ 3DG= Three Days Grace_


	15. Past Mistakes

_You're the one thing I got right_  
_The only one I let inside_  
_Now I can breathe, coz you're here with me_

_And if I let you down_  
_I'll turn it all around_  
_Coz I will never let you go_

_

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_

Past Mistakes

_Ida Scott Taylor once wrote: Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering._

"What is all this?" I question her "why do you keep giving me lyrics? I don't want lyrics! I want answers!" I throw the piece of paper to the ground; she still isn't looking at me.

"What? Not talking to me now? "She still is not looking at me" I mean 2 minutes ago you kissed me. Ashley you kissed me! Why" I end in whisper.

"Still nothing...okay ...I'm done" I turn and head in the other direction .

"Wait" she shouts.

"Why!" I quickly turn toward her "why should I! I mean I must have been so foolish, so pathetic "I push her and she stumbles backwards "I thought you might give me answers. I deserve answers right?" I push her again she doesn't even try to stop me. "God! A year I waited for answers! And you still don't give it to me! What do I have to do to get you to give me answers? Really what do i have to do?" My hand is shaking there are so many emotions running though me I just want answers.

"Nothing" Ashley finally speaks "you have to do nothing. The lyrics" she picks up the piece of paper "that's what I cant say. God! You have no idea what this last year has been like for me"

"For you!" I cut in "what it's been like for you! You cheated on me with your ex! Then you didn't give me answers. I came out to my parents and my friends and you weren't there" I point to Ashley. "I was so scared I had no one except Kyla when all I really wanted was you. I needed my best friend" the ending ended up being whimper. Tears are now freely falling from my face and Ashley looks like she is going to cry any minute.

"if I could take it all back I would" she clears the tears from her face with the back of her hand "when I found out you came out the first thing I did was pick up the phone to ring you, but I didn't think you would want to talk to me after all I did, so I hung up"

"Why?" that the question that has been on my lips for so long why did she sleep with him.

"Why did I sleep with him?" I nod and I swear I hear her gulp. "You could never get it" she pointed at me "He wanted me ... as in _really _wanted me. I had never been wanted. Back then that's what it felt like, I now know differently. My mum... well you know my mum, I am no more than a burden to her and my dad" I voice crakes at the mention of her dad "my dad was never there... I was wanted Spencer" more tears begin to fall " I was wanted for the first time in a long while, I was wanted ... do you have any idea what that feels like...okay he wanted me for sex but he still wanted me. And I kept on thinking why did you want me? Did you want me? I mean everyone who so called wanted me left or ended up not wanting me. My dad wanted me and he died for Christ sake. My mum once wanted me but not anymore. I just kept on thinking did you ever want me? After it happen I cried for such a long time. I realised I had made such a big mistake, you had to believe me. I made a mistake. I am flawed; i made a mistake because I am human. I fucked up huge and I get that... I do."

Why didn't she tell me that a year ago maybe I might have been able to forgive her? Her dad had just dead after all. Maybe I could have stayed instead of going.

She walked up to me. Onlookers probably think would we both look like crazy people crying on the beach but in our world. The world with the population of two, me and Ashley, this is make or break time. She is so close but we are yet to touch.

"I am sorry. I am so sorry. If I could take it back I would. I don't expect forgiveness. But I want you to know I am truly sorry."

I can see honestly in her eyes, shame and I think it's still there.

Yes it is.

Love.

Can I forgive her? I think I can. But I will not know until I try.

"God I missed you" I breathe out and kiss her. My arms wrap around her neck and her hands on my waist not knowing where to put them. She doesn't response straight away but once my tongue grazes her lips she responsed with as much passion. Our tongues meet for the first time in a year and it's like an explosion. Her hands grip my hips more and we groan with pleasure. I have missed this so much and I think Ashley has too.

I pull back first to try and gain some air.

"Wow" is all she says

"Ash" she smiles when I say her nickname "I don't know if I forgive you but I want to try this. I want to see where this goes... but I beg you don't hurt me again... I don't think I could handle it" I murmur. Ash brushes away my tears with her thumb and kisses my cheek.

"Thank you Spencer" she smiles and lets out a chuckle.

We stay like that for a while. Not kisses just looking at each other just Trying to reconnect with each other. We part ways after about an hour. When I got home I had the biggest smile going.

I am looking at the footage I shot at the beach to day. It quite good but what I didn't realise was I didn't press the record button again after the kiss. The camerS shoot all of it, the kiss, the agreement and the getting back together. I can't believe that was an hour ago. It seems it was just five minutes ago I was on the beach with Ash shouting our hearts out. I don't know what we are girlfriends or friends with benefits or somewhere in between , I still don't know what I want but I do know I want to kiss her again.

_Knock knock _

If this is mum I really don't want to see her because she will just put a downer on this really awesome day.

I open the door expecting to see mum.

"You forgot this" Ash waves my mobile if front of her with a grin plastered on her face

"Err... thanks I didn't even realise I lost it... erm how did you get in here, I didn't hear the door bell ?"

"Your dad let me in, that reminds me he said do your homework" she laughs.

"That's rich coming from you... come in" I open my door wide to let her in. She gradually enters my room. Ash being in my room bring backs a lot of memories for me. The last time she was her we were curled up on my bed. How times have changed.

"So what was the real reason you came here" she looks innocent but I know her,she didn't just come here to give me back my phone, she could do that tomorrow.

"Well you see" she walks up to me "i have really wanted to do something since the beach and I can't wait any longer..."

"And what might that be" I say quietly. She cups my cheeks and kisses me. My hands automatically moves to her hair, I moan into her mouth when are tongue meet. She pushes me against the wall and kisses me down my neck.

God I have missed this.

Her hands move up and down my body and mine grip on to her shirt. It's like she is trying to touch me everywhere at once. It feels like she is succeeding in that task. Her hand reaches my breast and teases my nipples through my top. I have to stop this before she takes off my top.

"Mmm...Ash... Baby... Stop" she immediately does. She moves her head up so we are eye level but leaves her hands where they are. "I don't think I can ... Not just yet." She nods and moves away from me. "Okay... I can respect that" is all she replies.

"Stay with me" did I just say that?

"What?"

"Ash stay with me tonight please"

"i can do that " she say with a smile.

We get ready for bed and we just stand at the edge of the bed, looking at it. I think were both nervous. I know I am, sharing a bed with her for the first time in a year. What was I thinking?

"This is stupid! We have shared a bed before" I say looking at her.

"But if I remember correctly" she says with a sly grin on her face "we always had sex" she is right about that.

"That's not going to happen tonight" I get in and wait for her to join. I turn my back to her and wait for sleep to over take me. After about 10 minutes I feel movement then I feel Ashley's arm come around me from behind and intertwines ourhands together.I can feel her front pressing into my back, so were spooning.

"I miss this" she whispers into my ear

"I missed this too"

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	16. I will Remeber This Day As

Sorry I took so long to update and sorry this is so short.

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I Will Remember Today As The Beginning Of Always

Remember today, for it is the beginning of always. A promise, like a reward for persisting through life so long alone. A belief in each other and the possibility of love. A decision to ignore simply rise above the pain in the past. A covenant, which at once binds two souls and yet severs prior ties. The celebration of the chance taken and the challenge that lies ahead. For two will always be stronger than one. Like a team braced against the tempests of the world. And love will always be the guiding force in our lives. For today is mere formality. Only an announcement to the world of feelings long held, promises made long ago in the sacred space in our hearts.-One Tree Hill

Ashleys POV

I can't believe I am actually here lying on her bed with her in my arms. I have wanted this moment for the last year but I haven't entertained the idea until a couple of days ago when we got put together in the media Project. I have got a wicked idea for that and I can't wait till I show her and the rest of the class it.

I remember when we broke up. I remember crying myself to sleep; I remember drowning my pain in the nearest liquor bottle I could find. let's just say I didn't move out of bed the next day because in-between the hangover and the heart break I couldn't get up.

I know the break up was my fault, I know if I didn't go to the club we wouldn't of broken up, if I didn't drink that much I know the break up never happen and I know if I didn't go in to restroom with Aiden I the breakup would have never of taken place. But it did happen and I can't change what I did, even though I would take it all back in a heartbeat. All I can try to do is prove to Spencer I have changed and what happened was a mistake.

When we got partnered up for the project I thought this will be my chance. My chance to prove to Spencer I have changed I remember thinking this is make or break. I thought I nearly broke it in the library. I read her lyrics and I swear she could have written them straight out my mind, it was just freaky. When I wrote the lyrics

_I know I let you down  
But it's not like that now  
this time I'll never let you go_

_I will be, all that you want  
And get myself together  
Coz you keep me from falling apart  
All my life, I'll be with you forever  
To get you through the day  
And make everything okay_

I didn't have a clue what I was doing. I Think I thought by writing the lyrics down I would be able to vocalize my feeling without having to say they out loud. I know that cowardly, but since I only just started to talk to her I thought that might be better than to say it out loud. And I mean every word in them verse. I know deep in my heart I will not let her down ever again and that I know for certain.

I remember kissing her at the beach. Don't know why I did. Okay that's I lie I know why I did it. I missed the feeling of her lips against my lips. I had done since the day we made out at school, the last time I kissed her. When I leant in and kissed her I swear my heart stopped beating. It was the most awesomeness feeling in the world. When I felt she didn't respond that was when my heart started to beat. A thousand beats a second. All that was going through my head was WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I JUST DONE. I, I thought I had ruined and chance of a relationship I could of ever had with Spencer. So I runaway, well more like walked but that doesn't matter. When she shouted my name, I thought it was to shout at me or even slap me, I honestly thought she was going to slap me when I didn't tell her why I kissed her. That when I gave her some of my lyrics.

_You're the one thing I got right_  
_the only one I let inside_  
_now I can breathe, coz you're here with me_

_And if I let you down_  
_I'll turn it all around_  
_Coz I will never let you go_

I think it was my way of telling her she was it for me and I could never do any better than her.

The argument on the beach was so scary but also so freeing. When I told her what I was thought and how I felt. I remember feeling so naked and exposed it was unreal. It was like I was opening up myself but also felt like a weight was lifted of my shoulder. I still can't believe she forgave me. I don't think that will ever sink in. I always knew her heart was pure but forgiving me for sleeping with someone else her heart must be made of gold.

When I got to the house to give her phone I wanted to talk, honestly I did, but I saw her and I had a huge urge to kiss her.

So I did.

I knew I shouldn't because I didn't want to rush things this time with Spence. I know she doesn't trust me 100 percent and ,I can't blame her after all I did break her heart, so when she asked me to stop I did without questioning her. I was more surprised when she asked me to stay tonight. That was the last thing I expected.

When we settled down on the bed I could feel my heartbeat increasing and breath amplify rapidly and I swear I could have heard Spencer react the same way. I still can't believe I waited 10 minutes to wrap my arms around her. Those ten minutes where torture but as soon as she was in my arms I knew I was home.

"Mmm... stop thinking" I heard Spence mumble and snuggled further into my embrace. The simple act makes my heart flutter.

"I thought you were a sleep" I kissed her on her cheek.

"Well your mind is so loud it woke me up, you need to stop thinking it's only..." she looked at the alarmed clock "7.30! My god Ash why didn't you wake us we have school" Shit I forgot about school

"I forgot" I say trying to look as innocent as possible.

"Just grab some clothes and we can get a Mackey D's on the way" she leans down and kisses me. God how I missed her kisses. I smile in to the kissed then pull away "if you kiss me like that we won't leave" she turns around and walks to the bathroom.

I think I never fell out of love with her and I don't think I ever will.

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Sorry it's a short one but I have been revisING for my A Levels

Review :)


	17. Always Love

Usual disclaimers

This is the last chapter in the **"You Think Were Enemies?**" story.

Thanks for all your reviews they made me wanna carry on the story.

Enjoy :)

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Always love

I always knew I was meant to be with Ashley. Even when I hated her for cheating on me, or when we got caught making out in the supply closet at school and got 2 weeks' worth of detention. I knew, I always did and always will love her.

I remember the day we had to show the class our media reports. I didn't do it. I know I was really excited but every time I started to do it Ashley kept of distracting me with her hot body but I managed to get an extension and I did it in front of the teacher.

I got an A of course.

But when Ashley did it the people who didn't know we are together defiantly did then.

_Flashback _

"_Whose up next Davies' show us your presentation" I looked at Ashley who had a cocky smile plastered. I didn't know what she was going to do, every time I asked, she changed the subject, didn't answer or this one time she actually took of her top. Thank god we were in my bedroom because the thing we did that night... I am getting hot just think about it._

_She gets up and puts the DVD in and lets it play. On the screen shows many photos of me. All when i didn't know she was taking them. Some were of me and friends, some of my family and others of me and ash. The where on repeat as she did her presentation._

"_I have known Spencer for 1 year 6 months 29 days 6 hour's and I don't know how many minutes and during that time my life has changed so much but she was always there. My dad died, I got a new sister inherited millions, I came out, I cheated, I broke rules and broke hearts but most importantly I fell in love. _

_There are three things I know about Spencer for definite. _

_One -she will always be there for even if you don't want it._

_Two- when she's in your life you will never forget about her_

_Three- she has a mean right hook_

_I have known two sides to Spencer in the time I have known her. The first side I think it's her best side. It the side where she open up her heart to you and lets you in. People who are her friends can testify that Spencer the best friend you could ever hope for._

_The second side to Spencer you never want to see. It the side with just one look you want to run away and hide. I have seen that look only three times. Twice directed at me and both times it was my fault. The third was at a guy who was chatting me up. _

_A year ago you thought we where enemies, you thought me and Spencer hated each other's guts, I hate to break it to you but we weren't, in fact were together. Like holding hands, stolen kisses, racing heart beats the whole ten yards, until I kind of broke her heart._

_But I fixed it. But the time we weren't together it felt like my best friend was missing but when I got her back. It was like the empty space was filled. _

_So to bring an end to this very awkward deceleration of love, coz yes I am in love with Spencer, I want to conclude with just to say Spencer is the most awesomeists, loving, caring person you will ever meet. "_

_She stopped talk and finished with a small; videos this time with moving images. On it was the fight we had at the beach, parties we went to, me with my fiends but the thing I loved most about it was the sound track. She finished my song. She used my song, well our song ._

_When that finished the class was in silences. _

"_Spencer anything you want to say to that" the teacher said looking at me trying to gage me reaction._

"_Erm... yes... There is" I say. I get up from my desk walk to Ashley and kiss her. Not a quick peck on the lip but full on hand in the hair, lost of breath, mind blowing kiss._

_So we got a detention for it._

_Totally worth it..._

_End of flash back _

After that day everyone knew about me and Ashley but no one treated us differently. I even think we got more friends. I was able to hold my girlfriends hand in the hallways, kiss her on the lips whenever I wanted, I was able to say "you know my girlfriend Ashley".

When we told my parents about us, my mother had a tiny freak out. I was only tiny because she had gotten over the fact I was gay, she just didn't like Ashley but after awhile she saw how much Ashley loved me and I loved her she stopped freaking out and even let Ashley spend a couple of nights. The rest of the family where awesome but I think we blinded Glen. He barged in when me and Ashley we were...well you know. He didn't look at me or speak to me for a week, again totally worth it.

I have been with Ashley now for two years and we have gone from strength to strength. Of course it hasn't just been smooth sailing. We have had fight. Really bad fights, like the time I accidently broke her iPod or the time she spilled coffee on my lyric book. But we also had major high. Like graduating, going on are first holiday together and moving into our apartment.

I wouldn't change what we went through for the world because it made us who we are. It made us Invisible.

It made us Spashley

You ever heard the expression "the best things live are free". Well that expression is true. Every once in a while, people step up, they rise above themselves, sometimes they surprise you and sometimes they fall short. Life is funny sometime. It can push pretty hard but if you look close enough, you can fine hope in the words of children, in the bars of the song and in the eyes of someone you love. And if you lucky, if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back.

-One Tree Hill

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That all folks, I hope you enjoyed

Review :)


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